


Rescue Me

by SpiritLock



Series: Cullen Rutherford & Krista Trevelyan [5]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Adamant Fortress, Anger, Angry Sex, Angst, Arguing, Banter, Bathtubs, Canon-Typical Violence, Consensual Sex, Dancing, Drinking & Talking, F/M, Fear, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Grey Wardens, Halamshiral, Hand Stroking, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Lyrium Addiction, Lyrium Withdrawal, Major Character Injury, Massage, Minor Violence, Nugs, POV Multiple, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reconciliation, Red Lyrium, Revelations, Scars, Sexual Attraction, Spiders, Stuffed Nug Throwing, Teasing, Wind-ups, trebuchets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-04-30 07:40:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5155697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiritLock/pseuds/SpiritLock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Commander and Inquisitor have formed a close friendship, recognising so many similiarities between them.  What is easy, fun, and full of wind-ups, takes a turn into something else a little trickier.</p><p>Of course, the rest of their friends are waiting for the inevitable to happen.</p><p>(Covers events from before Adamant to after Halamshiral)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at a 'friendmance'. Because it's a different syle for me I would really welcome comments as to whether the balance feels right.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chocolates, ale and meat pastries

As Krista walked through the Great Hall on her way to Cullen’s office, she could see Varric still at his table. He was normally off to the tavern at this time of night. Now curious, she wandered over to see him. When she got closer, she could see bits of folded paper strewn across the table, and just had to ask.

“This may be a daft question, and you know I’m all for daft questions, but what are you doing?” she asked, watching his hands putting folded pieces of paper together in a strange misshapen form.

“I’m building a model boat. It seemed an apt use for the letters from the Merchant’s Guild,” he retorted still concentrating on his task.

“Right, right,” she looked at him, nodding and furrowing her eyebrows. “That’ll teach me to ask a daft question.”

“You off to see Curly then?” Varric asked now looking up with a small smile on his face. “For your daily whatchamacallit?” 

“Yep...that reminds me...why do you call him Curly?” Krista always wondered why, she asked Cullen but he’d hedged that question.

Varric gave a loud throaty laugh “Have you tried asking him?”

“He avoids it when I do, and since it’s your nickname for him, I thought you could tell me.”

“I bet he does. All I will say is that his hair doesn’t naturally stay like it is.” His tone almost conspiratorial. He winked at her, and she pursed her lips, then smiled in recognition.

“Maker, he styles his hair? I’m going to have a field day with this. I’ll need just the right moment. Thank you Varric,” she replied. Another weapon in her arsenal, she thought.

“Don’t you two ever get tired of winding each other up? I mean, aren’t there more fun ways to pass the time?” he asked winking again.

“Very funny, but that joke died a long time ago. Sorry to disappoint,” she grinned and turned. “Night Varric. And I wouldn’t let anyone sail that boat if I were you. They might piss off the Merchant’s Guild too.”

“Yeah, yeah. Night Cat,” he replied, shaking his head and went back to his model building.

Krista wandered into Solas’s rotunda; he was still there, finishing off the latest section of the mural, the fall of Haven. Solas was plotting the major milestones of the Inquisition, but so far there hadn’t been many good ones. She sighed quietly; his work was beautiful, very different from the painting she was used to seeing. Some would call it a naive style, but it had much more emotion to it than conventional work. He was deeply absorbed, so she decided to just slip past quietly and leave him to his work.

Krista walked over the bridge and opened the door to Cullen’s office, stepping in and was just about to greet him, when she heard Cullen shout.

“Get out!” 

What she saw in her brief glance in, was Hawke sitting on his desk, with him standing close to her. Hawke had turned, and was looking at Krista quite bemused, but Cullen was still facing Hawke. Krista realised he evidently thought she was a messenger interrupting. She raised her eyebrows, now smiling, turned on her heel and left, quietly shutting the door behind her. Now that was worth chocolates and ale at least, she thought, how many times had she asked him not to be rude to the messengers. But now she had another thought, and skipped off to find Varric again.

Cullen saw Hawke’s bemused stare as she faced him again.

“What?” he asked brusquely. “I don’t like interruptions. The new ones are always wandering in without knocking.”

Hawke suppressed a smile. “I see, and how many new Inquisitors do you get here? I understood there was just the one,” she traced her finger up his neck and chin.

“That was...? Maker’s breath!” Cullen rubbed his forehead and groaned. “We were due to meet as well. Krista is going to love this. Urgh. I’d better go and see her.”

Cullen kissed Hawke on the cheek. “I appreciate the offer, but things are different now.” He left heading for the Great Hall.

“So I see,” Hawke replied quietly. She smiled, wondering if he knew, what he really meant by that.

Krista had found Varric, still with his misshapen contraption. He raised his head when she called him.

“Back so soon Cat?” he asked puzzled.

“Varric, may I ask you something?” she inquired, her face deadpan now.

“Sure, ask away. I may not answer though,” he replied, smirking slightly.

“Did Cullen and Hawke have a thing back in Kirkwall?” she used her best ‘tell me’ face on him. 

Varric lowered his voice. “How did you...? Never mind. It wasn’t common knowledge, but briefly, yes.” He watched her when he spoke again “Why?”

“Because I’ve just seen them back in his office, and trust me I know familiarity when I see it.” She was whispering now. She saw Varric draw back his head, now doubtful. “Go and look if you don’t believe me. Ahh...well, maybe that isn’t a good idea...” Krista scratched her cheek.

But before he could answer, the door to the rotunda opened, and Cullen appeared. 

“Think you might be wrong there,” Varric whispered out of the corner of his mouth to Krista.

“So I see,” she whispered back, turning slightly to face Cullen.

“Inquisitor, I came to apologise. I didn’t realise it was you at the door.” He rolled his eyes, thinking what was the penalty this time?

“Commander, if that had been a messenger, would you have rushed so quickly to provide an apology?” she asked, arms folded, her hand tapping one arm gently. She saw Varric turn away, stifling a snigger. “And I believe we had a meeting too, or was I mistaken?” A smile was tugging at the corners of her mouth now.

Cullen could see she was starting to crack. “Sweet Maker! Just tell me what I owe, and let’s be done with this. And my room is free if you wish to come back.” 

“Well, let me see. I think chocolates and ale for the messengers this time, as you obviously still are unable to be civil. And as for me, well, let’s just say I’ll bank that favour for now. To be withdrawn at my convenience,” she paused. “Agreed?” She could hear Varric cough, trying to suppress a laugh now.

Hawke arrived through the rotunda door as Krista was speaking, and seeing Varric, went to join him. She briefly nodded at Varric before settling to watch what was happening.

Cullen hung his head and sighed. “Yes, fine. Agreed.” He then looked up and then crossed his arms. When he spoke his tone was stern, but he was slightly smiling. “Hmm...there is one other thing. You would agree that the Inquisitor should possess enough manners to knock on someone’s door, and not just barge in.” 

“You have a point there, Commander.” It was Krista’s turn to pay the penalty now. “What’s the price?” she asked, briefly scrunching up her eyes.

“Meat pastries, for tomorrow’s meeting I think. Agreed?” Cullen’s eyebrow raised waiting for her to confirm.

“OK, agreed.” She sighed. “You do know it’ll piss off Cook, me baking while she’s there.” She watched as he was nodding at her, and groaned.

Both Hawke and Varric were quietly sniggering at this point. 

Cullen then smiled broadly at Krista. “Now, are you coming back?”

Krista beamed back at him. ”Lead the way, Commander.”

As Cullen and Krista left saying goodnight, Hawke turned to Varric, “Are they...?” she began.

“Not yet. As far as they’re concerned they’re just friends,” he replied and then asked “So, what were you doing with Cullen then?”

“Oh, I just thought just one for old time’s sake. He looks better than he did in Kirkwall. Isabella wouldn’t mind. But he turned me down, politely of course,” she answered and then realised. “Wait...how did you know?” she asked leaning forward.

“Cat saw it. Not much gets past her. Except when it involves her and Curly.” Varric picked up his paper boat and looked at it, and decided to throw it on the fire.

“What made you call her Cat?” Hawke was well familiar with Varric and his nicknames.

Varric was in the middle of picking up some of the letters on the table when he answered. “If you get a chance, watch her when you’re in combat at Adamant, and you’ll understand.” He threw the letters onto the fire, next to the rapidly burning paper boat.

Then they both heard Cullen’s voice shouting “Sweet Maker, will you get off the wall now!” followed by a loud peal of laughter from Krista.

Varric shook his head and smiled, as Hawke looked at him quizzically. “Don’t look at me. I don’t get it either. Some bizarre mating ritual that nobody gets, including them I suspect. They seem to thrive on getting a rise out of each other. My money’s on him working it out first, Cat maybe later.” 

“I take it you have a book on them already then?” Hawke asked knowing full well he would have.

Varric took a small notebook out of his pocket and picked up a quill from the table. “How much then, and what length of time?” he asked, ready for the bet.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trebuchets and nugs

Bull was observing Cullen with the trebuchets, when he became aware of someone walking up beside him. When he looked he saw the Boss, now standing there watching Cullen, and grinning. “Ready for setting out to Adamant tomorrow then?” he asked. 

“As much as anyone can be; taking on a fortress full of Wardens and demons. How about you? Are you ok with being with the main team? I know how you feel about demons.” She faced him and looked for his response.

“I’m good Boss, don’t worry about me. Just wanted to ask, are you sure about taking Cole? I mean, him being a spirit and all that.” Bull still felt unsure about Cole. Demon, sprit, he wasn’t sure about the difference. But the kid fought well, and in Crestwood they made a good forward team with the Boss and Dorian at the back.

Krista understood his concern. “Bull, he’ll be fine. I trust him,” her tone assured. “He will be able to sense things that can help us. It never hurts to have as much intelligence as you can.” She saw Bull nodding; he knew it made good tactical sense. “Besides, you two worked well as a unit. You charged them, and Cole took them down from behind.”

“True, can’t deny that. We’ll be fine. Changing the subject, are you going to talk to Cullen about his obsession with these trebuchets. He’s been here most of the day.” Bull asked, looking back at the scene before them, grinning.

“That’s what I’m here for, to drag him away, I’ve seen his desk, and he’ll be all night looking at the reports if he doesn’t stop now.” Krista paused. “Josie made me laugh,” she continued, now smiling. “Even she teased him about the numbers of times he was calibrating the damn things.” Krista took a step forward before turning back to Bull. “Wish me luck,” she said brightly and walked on.

Bull watched as she went to Cullen. “It’s not luck you need, Boss,” he said to himself. He had difficulty understanding how someone as sharp as the Boss, had so little self awareness sometimes. Bull shook his head. Then heard another arrival and turned to see Dorian.

“Ah, Krem said you were here. I had to escape Madam de Fer.” Dorian rolled his eyes. “Complaining about why she wasn’t chosen for the main team. Mind you, I can’t recall when Krista picked her for anything. Sour grapes I suppose.” Dorian smiled at Bull and then looked at what was happening near the trebuchets. “So, what have I missed? I see our darling duo ahead, any further progress, or are we still waiting for the monumental revelation?”

“Nah, no change,” Bull replied. “I’m betting on him realising first.” He was now watching Cullen and Krista’s discussion.

“Is that your read on the matter then?” Dorian asked. “I thought it may be the other way around. Well, that’s what I put money on.” Dorian turned to face Bull. “How many books has Varric got on this? New options keep popping up all the time.” 

Bull laughed “As many as he can make money on.” He pointed. “And there they go. Man, she really knows how to work the guy.” Bull turned to Dorian “She’ll be last, she’s afraid to let go, too wary. Even with Cullen.”

“Right, that’s the entertainment over then. What now? I’m bored.” Dorian shrugged.

“I may have an idea or two?” Bull smiled knowingly.

Dorian raised his eyebrows. “Well, why are we still here then.” 

And they walked back up to Skyhold together, following Cullen and Krista.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cullen walked back into his office, followed by Krista and stopped when he saw the mountain of reports on his desk. “Maker’s breath! I’ve only been gone a few hours.” He rubbed his forehead in exasperation. “I’m never going to get through all these.”

Krista shook her head. “No Cullen, you’ve been gone most of the day, fiddling with those bloody things. You get sidetracked and forget what you actually need to be doing. I’ve been through most of them and put the important ones in the larger pile. There’s food on your desk, so go eat and make a start.” her tone was stern, and Cullen raised an eyebrow. 

“Are you pulling rank on me now?” he asked, moving over to his chair. “And you’ll thank me for those bloody things when we get to Adamant.” He sat down, just staring at the pile in front of him. He noticed a bowl of meat pastries in front of him and a bottle. He looked back up at her and smiled. “Thank you,” he said.

Krista smiled. “See, I can be nice to you sometimes. Especially baked today, under the glaring gaze of Cook, I’ll have you know.” She went and stood next to the desk. “I’ll be back later, with dessert, if you promise to get some sleep tonight,” she said, her arms folded. “And that is an order, Commander.”

Cullen grinned. “You’ll make someone a lovely harridan one day,” he joked.

Krista mock glared at him. “Arse,” she said. Cullen shook his head, smiling and grabbed a pastry, and a report from the top of the pile. He could see her moving another pile of reports off his desk. He guessed they were the less urgent ones. 

As he started to read the report, he wondered what was going on. It was a request to use the trebuchets for flinging stuffed fabric nugs, and seeing how far they would fly. Krem was to supply the nugs. The Inquisitor had approved the request as important for morale. Cullen groaned, and could hear a titter.

“Inquisitor, a moment,” he said loudly, and watched her face as she turned. Cullen waved the report. “Was this your idea?” he asked sighing.

“Bull’s actually. I think it’s good one myself, sounds like fun,” Krista could see Cullen wasn’t convinced.

“I don’t think it’s a proper use of Inquisition equipment,” he replied, his tone firm. 

Krista walked to the desk, and leant over him. “Commander, remember that favour you owe me? I’m calling it in,” she smirked. “After Adamant, before the trebuchets go back to Jader, they will be used to test the distance travelled by a stuffed nug.” She stood up.

“Please tell me, why in the Maker’s name I tolerate you,” he asked, now realising he was beaten. He had agreed to that favour.

“Because I make you laugh, and hey...guess what...I’m the Inquisitor!” she laughed, raising her hands in the air.

“Andraste preserve me! They’ll make anyone Inquisitor these days,” he retorted and watched Krista’s mouth drop open, then looked back at the report in his hand, grinning.

From somewhere, a stuffed nug whizzed across his head. He smoothed his hair back down, but had to smile. “Are you coming back later?” he asked looking at the nug now on the desk. She really did make his life easier sometimes.

“Of course. I need to go and check my armour anyway. I can’t be holding your hand all day, you know.” she joked and turned to leave. Krista felt something soft hit the back of her head, and looked down to see the stuffed nug on the floor.

She picked it up and turned her head, now smiling. “Actually, I think I’ll call him Commander Nug. We can leave him here to take charge whilst you’re away.” She was sniggering, and barely finished her sentence.

“Maker, just go, please...” Cullen was laughing now. He was never going to get anything done if she stayed.

Krista waved her hand and left, still chuckling.

Cullen knew if anyone heard them, they’d think them both mad. But nugs had been a standing joke from when they first started meeting regularly.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cullen remembered the night she came and sat with him, in the tavern back in Haven. He was nursing an ale, during a particularly bad day. He couldn’t concentrate on virtually anything. He was brooding, he knew it. And then she came and sat opposite him.

“Commander, I’ve decided to be your entertainment for the night,” she announced grinning at him, her eyes shining. 

“Herald, I appreciate the thought, but I’m not in a mood for talking,” he replied dismissively, and thought she’d go.

“Oh I can see that, but you aren’t required to talk. Now, let me tell you the story about how I woke up one day in camp, and found a nug sucking on my toes....” her voice light and airy.

Cullen was in the middle of taking a swig of ale, and nearly choked when he started laughing. An hour later, she was gone and he felt better. He went to thank her the following day.

“No problem, Commander. I have more stories if you want to hear them,” she’d said smiling.

And from then on, whenever she was around, they’d meet up after dinner every night.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cullen decided to face down the reports, and commenced going through them one by one. And Maker, the woman could cook, he thought, as he demolished all the pastries.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The attack on Adamant.

Krista had to admit, all Cullen’s work with the trebuchets had paid off. They owed him for that, getting them into Adamant so effectively. That and the scary siege weapon ramming the front gates. She’d taken Bull, Dorian and Cole with her into the fortress, and left her other companions in two groups to help the rest of the Inquisition forces. Stroud had also joined her team, in the hope they might convince some of the non-mage Wardens to stand down.

They’d just cleared the first courtyard of Wardens and demons, when Cullen arrived. She’d seen little of him on their way here, as he’d been concentrating on planning and organisation. He seemed focused, but more tired than usual.

“We’ll keep the main host of demons occupied for as long as we can.” He had to shout to be heard over the clash of battle. 

“That’s a worrying lack of specificity there, Commander,” she shouted back, with a joke. Not even a crack of a small smile. That was odd; even at Haven, she managed to elicit a smile from him in the midst of the chaos there.

“There are more of them than I was hoping, Inquisitor,” he replied sternly. 

“You don’t say!” she answered.

He wasn’t wrong there she thought. The Wardens had managed to summon many more than they expected. Krista dreaded to think what would have happened if they had waited any longer. Cullen asked her to clear the battlements to allow their soldiers a foothold, and enable them to cover their advance. Hawke was already up there. And with that he left to rejoin the fray. The five of them set off, working their way through the fortress, up to the battlements.

They eventually found Hawke, battling demons up on one of the battlements.

“Inquisitor, always a pleasure!” she said, smiling, while throwing out fire at the demons. A sense of humour in this morass, Krista had to admire her. She could see then, what Cullen saw in her.

“Likewise Hawke! Stay with my troops, help them survive this.” She saw Hawke run off to aid them. The plan was for them to meet up before the main courtyard where Clarel would be.

Having Stroud with them had worked, they had managed to convince some of the Wardens to stand down. It was bloody, but less so than it could have been. Hawke ‘s help had also saved some of her soldiers, and Krista was grateful, as were they. 

After clearing the battlements, they converged on the courtyard. Krista could see a what looked like the start of a rift in the middle. Maker, what were they planning to pull through that? And there was Erimond next to Clarel, the slimy bastard. When they’d met him in the Ritual Tower, she understood what sort of thing Dorian was fighting against in Tevinter.

Krista decided to try and talk Clarel down, rather than attack, but she seemed fixated on the path the Wardens had taken.

“We make the sacrifices no one else will. Out warriors die proudly for a world that will never thank them,” she shouted. Krista thought she was mad, but she was definitely determined. She heard Stroud next to her.

“And then your Tevinter ally binds the mages to Corypheus!” he shouted back.

Clarel looked stunned for the first time. “Corypheus, but he’s dead.” Krista saw her pause, and hoped she would relent. But she was already so far down her path, she couldn’t turn back. She would be admitting all those deaths were been needless. That and Erimond whispering in her ear.

“Bring it through,” Clarel said and the Warden mages opened up the rift fully. She could just about see something on the other side, and shit, it was huge. Was that what they wanted to bring through? They had to stop this and now.

Krista, Stroud and Hawke tried one last ditch attempt to persuade her and the Wardens that this was madness. She’d found correspondence here, and in the Ritual Tower, revealing the doubts that some of them had about the blood magic being used and the effect on the mages. Krista hoped to play on that. 

“I don’t want to kill you, but you’re being used...and some of you know that, don’t you?” she urged, and saw the Wardens turn to Clarel. Please let this work, she thought. She saw the doubt start to take root among the Wardens, and Clarel also for the first time. Clarel was now ready to listen. Krista could hear the sighs of relief from her party, they hoped it was over.

And then Erimond, sensing defeat, summoned Corypheus’s dragon. Clarel finally realised she been tricked, attacked him and then chased after him when he fled. Of all the... If Krista ever got her hands on that man, he was so dead. 

“Dragon’s making things interesting,” Bull said cynically, bringing her mind back. Even in the melee of demons that had also been summoned, his mind was on the dragon.

They dispatched the demons best they could, and then went after Erimond and Clarel. When seeing Clarel’s face on realising she’d been duped, Krista hoped that she would never be that focused on something that she stopped seeing reality. This was madness, she thought as they pursued the pair up into the top of the fortress, with the dragon breathing down their necks, quite literally. And demons, more fucking demons.

“Clarel is hurting, we need to help her,” Cole said plaintively. Krista quashed the thought she had been brewing, in case Cole heard her. There would be words, most definitely words, when they came through this, she thought instead. 

As they reached the top, she could see Erimond was down, and the dragon attacking Clarel. From the look in its eyes, they were next, and there was only limited space to fight here. They were really in shit now. It crept towards them, but as she was dying, Clarel used her own blood to magnify her magic and strike the dragon. It was tumbling along the platform past them, fell off, and then away it flew. 

Adamant was old, from the Second Age, Cullen had said. Its age now showed, the dragon’s weight proving too much for the ancient stonework. As the platform began to disintegrate beneath them, and one by one they began to fall, Krista did the only thing she could to save them. She opened up a rift with the Anchor, and they fell into the Fade.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cullen was still trying to work his way through demons in the fortress to the main courtyard. They’d picked up Erimond trying to flee, and the Templars among their forces had managed to dispel his magic. Tevinter mages really weren’t used to Southern Templars. Now captured and shackled, his fate was a decision for the Inquisitor. When she came back.

He’d got the news earlier they’d gone. “What do mean, they’ve gone?” he shouted at the soldier.

“The platform collapsed under the weight of the dragon. They all fell, but we think the Inquisitor opened a rift. They must have fallen into the Fade.” The man looked nervous, and Cullen realised he must have been glaring at him.

“Maker, no,” he muttered. He sent the man back to keep him informed as to what was happening. There was still a rift in the central courtyard, and he prayed they could find their way back. She’d done it once, and she was a survivor. 

Finally they managed to corral the remaining demons in the central courtyard. The Wardens and Inquisition soldiers had joined forces, fighting the demons together now. Cullen was now using every inch of his training to keep going. The demons, the blood magic, it was awakening all those memories, ones he had never been able to fully deal with. Without the lyrium, it hit him so much harder.

And on top of it all, he faced the possibility that his friend, who helped make his life more bearable, might be lost. He had to be convinced she’d come back. She had survived Haven after all.

Cullen saw Bull, Dorian and Cole jump out of the rift, and then dive straight into battle. He worked his way over to Bull. 

“Where are the others?” he shouted, as they were both attacking a rage demon.

“They got cut off,” came the reply. “Part of the Nightmare demon came back.”

He was about to ask what Nightmare demon, when Hawke stepped through the rift, and then finally Krista. She steadied herself on landing, and then stood up, using the Anchor to draw the remaining demons into the rift, before closing it shut. The fighting finally stopped. 

Cullen could see she had her left arm raised at an odd angle, and was holding her shoulder stiffly, the same one she’d dislocated after Haven. As he moved closer, he caught the end of her conversation with Hawke. 

“That’s how legends get started. Or, at least, that’s what Varric always says,” Hawke said smiling.

“The Wardens who weren’t corrupted helped us fight the remaining demons. And we have Erimond for your judgement, Inquisitor,” he said, and watched her cock her head, looking at him. Before he could continue, one of the Wardens stepped forward asking for Stroud.

Krista and Hawke exchanged glances. When she replied, her tone was measured “He didn’t make it,” she said.

The man turned back to look at his brethren and back to Krista “Inquisitor, we have no one left of any significant rank, what do we do now?”

Cullen saw her pause. She then offered the Wardens the chance to help the Inquisition. Even he had to raise his eyebrows at that one. After all they’d done, she gave them another chance. What was she thinking? He heard Cole.

“But they hurt people!” he exclaimed. 

For once Cullen agreed with him, but he wasn’t going to challenge her about it right now. There was something wrong with Krista. He watched as she came closer.

“Did you come to rescue me again?” she asked, smiling wanly. 

“Talk to me, what is it?” he demanded. There were times he wished she took things more seriously, but that was never going to be her style.

“Demon claw wound, left shoulder. I may need some help to the healer’s tent, I don’t want to collapse before I get there. Might look a little bad,” she joked. She then whispered. “Just prop me up if I look like I’m about to tip over, would you?” 

“Maker, you’re beginning to sound more like Dorian every day,” he said shaking his head.

“And what’s wrong with that?” came Dorian’s voice from behind them. Cullen resisted the temptation to answer that. 

He walked her through part of the fortress, but as the toxin began to spread and she faltered, he picked her up and carried her.

“Cullen...” she began.

“Appearances be damned, the quicker we get you there, the less it spreads, stop complaining,” he told her sternly. One of these days her stubbornness would be her undoing.

“Commander, is that any way to talk to your superior?” she asked. He could hear a gentle laugh as she said it.

“Inquisitor, with all due respect, shut up!” he replied firmly. He was then amazed when she actually did. Perhaps there were such things as miracles. But when he looked down, she’d passed out. Well, then again, maybe not.

With all the information they now had, from the combined research of the Inquisition and Bull’s healer, he knew she’d be fine. She just needed treatment and rest. When they got to the tent, he laid her into a cot, and let the healers take care of her. Cullen needed to get a proper accounting of their losses, but before he could get started, Hawke arrived.

“How is she?” Hawke asked.

“Quiet at last,” he said, then saw Hawke raise her eyebrows. “Sorry, bad habit. She’ll be fine.” He added. He sometimes forgot others didn’t see their jokes the way they did.

Hawke shook her head and sighed. “I’m going to Weisshaupt to let the Wardens there know what happened. We don’t want this to start again. Tell her to look after Varric.” She went to go, but then turned back. “She’s very agile isn’t she, I can see why Varric calls her Cat. Might come in useful for you too, Cullen,” she smiled and walked away.

Cullen rubbed his neck, right now he really wasn’t up for a response to that. They’d fended off so many quips and innuendos already. The headache had started to bite, and there was still much to be done. He’d come back and check on Krista later.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Adamant. 
> 
> After dealing with all the fallout, Krista struggles to cope.
> 
> PTSD

Cullen was standing at the window, the lyrium box still sitting there on his desk, a constant reminder he was in danger of failing to keep the promise he had made to himself all those months ago. Right now he wasn’t sure he could continue to function without it. The state he was in; it was obvious something had to give. But when he’d gone to talk to Cassandra about a replacement, she practically refused. He couldn’t understand why she couldn’t see the problem.

Adamant had worn him to the core, the demons, the blood sacrifices; it brought back all the memories from Kinloch Hold. This time it wasn’t the Wardens who were the heroes, they were the cause. All that loss of life due to their stupidity, it was unconscionable. And almost losing the one person who helped make his life bearable. That was unforgivable.

The whole operation had taken a heavy toll on him. He went over to the desk, leant down looking at the box. All the anger came welling up, and he threw the box across the room, just as Krista was walking in. He saw her leap back to dodge it, her eyes following its path across the room. 

“I didn’t hear you...forgive me...” he couldn’t imagine how it would be any worse now.

Krista turned to face him. “As long as you weren’t aiming at me, I’m sure the box had it coming,” her face serious as she spoke.

“I swear I didn’t know...” the pain kicked in and he had to steady himself against the desk.

Krista moved toward him and put her hand on his arm. “Cassandra came to see me. I wanted to speak to you myself to ask why you want to step down.” The words were official, but her tone was soft, soothing. It was a tone he knew well, and always made him want to talk. He moved away and saw her stand back.

He told her what happened to him at Kinloch Hold, how he’d been tortured, how they tried to break his mind, how his friends were slaughtered by blood mages and abominations. The Order had then sent him to Kirkwall, where he’d been promoted, only to be second in command to a Knight Commander whose fear of mages lurched into madness. More abominations, more death and a Right of Annulment used on the Kirkwall Circle. He wanted to leave that life behind, stop taking the lyrium and regain some control. But right now, it wasn’t working, he felt more out of control than ever.

He could see her watching, listening to his words, waiting for him to finish. 

When she finally went to speak, “Cullen, I...” was all she got out before he cut her off. It was the same soft tone, but right now he didn’t feel he deserved that.

“Don’t! You should be questioning what I’ve done,” he said harshly. “How many lives depend on our success?”

He was shouting now. “I will not give less to the Inquisition, than I did the Chantry! I should be taking it!” He slammed his fist into the bookcase, “I should be taking it,” he finished more quietly. Cullen felt his heart racing now, the rage had poured out of him, and he recognised she’d stood there taking the brunt of it.

When Krista spoke her voice was calm. “Never mind the Inquisition, is this what you want, Cullen?”

He exhaled, taking his hand from the shelf; it was throbbing now from the blow. “No. But these memories have always haunted me. If they become worse. If I cannot endure this...” he was drained and his voice trailed away as he watched her. 

The kindness in her eyes, the faith in him, as she put her hand on his chest and simply said “You can,” flowed over him. Again she’d rescued him, and how many times had she done that. She was always there for him; he wasn’t sure what he would do without her now. But he needed some time right now to think about what to do, what to decide. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Krista walked across the courtyard to the forge with Cullen’s lyrium box in her hands. 

Just as she was about to leave, one of the soldiers came to fetch him. It was then she had the idea. She walked out of the door and waited outside on the battlements until they were gone, and then went back in scooping up the box and its contents. There was no way she was going to leave this poison for him to be tempted by it again. 

Cara had told her what lyrium could do, and Krista hated that her sister had to take the stuff, hated that she was bound to the Order and the Chantry because of it. It bred addicts and destroyed lives. Cara was lost, she couldn’t save her, but she was going to make damn sure she saved Cullen from relapsing. If that meant pissing him off by destroying the box, she would do it, gladly. Once in the forge, she threw the box into the fire and watched it burn. And in case he faltered again, she went to Adan, and left instructions that should Cullen ask for lyrium, it should not be given to him without consulting her first.

Now she needed to speak to her team, her friends, who had suffered the taunts and images from the Nightmare demon in the Fade. She pushed back down her own memories; she would deal with those later. Cole and Bull were worst affected, she would seek them out first.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Krista had found Cole arguing with Solas. She knew how afraid he was when the fell into the Fade, and had tried to get them out as quickly as they could. He was so fearful of being bound and used against his will, of becoming a demon. He wanted Solas to bind him instead, but Solas had refused, understandably in her view. On Solas’ advice, she’d asked Josie to contact one of the Rivaini seers, to request an Amulet of the Unbound, so he would be safe. She was fond of Cole, and his well being important to her. 

Then there was Bull. Krista remembered his comment about ‘being dragged through the ass end of demon town’. When they went, none of them had any idea they would end up in the Fade. Demons in the fortress were one thing, but being in their lair, so to speak, freaked Bull out. Being possessed was his worst fear. She found him with Cassandra, being hit hard with a wooden training stick. A Ben-Hassrath training exercise to master fear apparently. When Krista arrived, Cassandra had almost knocked him out cold, but up he got up for more, so the stick was passed to her. She knew she couldn’t hit as hard as Cassandra, but gave it her best shot. It seemed to be enough for him though.

Dorian was angry, and more concerned with how it would be viewed if widely known they’d fallen in to the Fade. He was worried it might encourage more of his countrymen to try and replicate what they’d done, and about the consequences of what they might unleash. He was determined to find out who Corypheus originally was, as they’d found no record of him under that name. Krista arranged for the Inquisition to obtain a copy of the Liberalum, so he could investigate further.

It was Dorian who sensed, she wasn’t exactly her usual self. She bluffed her way through, saying they’d lost Stroud. That was true, but not the whole of it by any means. Luckily he didn’t press her further.

Then she passed judgement on Erimond, and for the first time ever, she’d made her decision before listening to his defence. It was wrong and she knew it, but didn’t care. It was vengeance, pure and simple. As she unsheathed the Inquisitor’s sword and took off his head, she could hear the gasps from the crowd. This was the first time she had invoked and carried out the death penalty. 

At this point Krista had her fill of Adamant. The Nightmare demon had taunted them all, and they’d all seen different things in the little fears that attacked them. Of course she saw spiders, but she also saw him. The reminder of what she was capable of, of what she had done when she was out of control. She’d thought that was all behind her, buried and forgotten. It had taken time, but she’d carved out her own life afterwards, where she had control and nobody else. The worst of it was that she’d loved him, making his actions even more painful, and her rage even greater. 

Krista desperately had to get away from everyone, everything, and fled back to her quarters. 

Her resolve was crumbling away, and as she clicked the door shut behind her, the tears just flowed. Her feet felt heavy as she went up the stairs. Finally making it to the bed, and collapsing onto it, she curled up into a foetal position and sobbed uncontrollably, her make up now running down her cheeks. A whole mess of emotions were now bubbling, churning inside. Early on Cassandra had said Krista’s survival was providence, but right now it felt like torture. 

She wept until exhaustion finally overtook her, and she fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Krista unburdens her secret to Cullen. 
> 
> Skyhold watches as stuffed nugs are thrown by trebuchets across the mountains, but Cullen and Krista are ever so slightly distracted by each other.
> 
> Brief description of past relationship abuse and violence

“Krista, wake up”.

Krista automatically reached under her pillow, then realised there was no blade there. She remembered she’d promised Cullen that she would stop sleeping with a dagger under her pillow, and withdrew her hand. She opened her eyes to see Cullen sitting on the edge of the bed.

“You missed your morning run. I came to see where you were.” His voice was gentle and there was a worried look on his face. “You look like...well...just tell me what’s going on.”

“How bad do I look then, for you to worry about me?” she joked. She got up to find a mirror. When she took a look, she saw her eyes were red and puffy and there was make-up smudged over her face. “Maker, now I see. I’m afraid I had a bit of a meltdown,” she said shrugging her shoulders. Krista cleaned up her face, aware he was still watching her. 

“It’s ok, I’m feeling better now,” she insisted, sitting back down on the bed. Not entirely true, she thought.

Cullen could see she was bluffing. “Talk to me, tell me what’s wrong,” he asked, wondering how far he would have to push her to tell him. Krista could be frustratingly elusive sometimes. “You were there for me yesterday. Now it’s my turn.” 

He knew about the Nightmare demon. But there was something else, some memory that was triggered, and now haunting her. She’d not been the same since coming out of the Fade, however much she tried to pretend otherwise. He recognised it, because it was exactly what he would do. Try to hide and bury whatever it was.

He watched her as she just sat there, clutching her hands together, staring at them. Cullen thought she wasn’t going to tell him. Then she spoke, her voice quiet.

“Ok, if you promise this stays just between us.” 

“I promise. Not a word to anyone,” he affirmed. 

“Remember when I told you I had a difficult relationship some years ago?” she asked. One of her hands now clasped the other so tightly it was turning white.

“I remember you telling me, yes,” he said quietly. It was more like snatches of information occasionally let out that he’d tried to put together.

“That was only part of the story, there’s more. I’ve never spoken about this to anyone, and you’ll understand why when I tell you.” She took a deep breath.

Cullen listened as she outlined what had happened to her. The mental and physical abuse, how she was used to provide money for this man by working as a thief, how he was ready to betray her for a reward from her parents. Her anger, her loss of control when everything converged, and how she killed him. Only she said it was murder. 

The manipulation, the control, making someone so afraid that they would obey whatever they were told to do, it sounded like torture to him. It explained why she was reluctant to trust, to let go, to let anyone too close. 

“I never want to feel that fear and anger again, or lose control like I did. I’ve not had another relationship since. That way I could protect myself, and other people. Even with the best will in the world, people will hurt each other, it’s inevitable.” Only now did she turn and look at him, her eyes full of tears. “So now you know.”

Cullen pulled Krista to him, and held her. He’d never actually hugged her before, but right now, he thought she needed it. She briefly paused, before putting her arms around him. From the little jerks and noises, he knew she was still crying, so he just kept holding her until she settled. 

“Thank you...for listening... for being my friend and not judging me,” she said; her voice a little croaky. “I’m sorry, your armour is a little wet now” she let out a small laugh.

Cullen smiled. “If it rusts, I’m blaming you,” he joked and she let out another laugh.

Krista didn’t like to be fussed over, she much preferred just to be listened to, and then coaxed with humour. He’d learnt that.

As she pulled away and looked at him, he spoke. “Why don’t you get changed, we’ll have something to eat and train together? How does that sound?” he asked. 

“Sure, I’d like that,” she replied, taking a deep breath. “Cullen...” she began.

“Yes?” 

“Does that mean you’re staying as Commander?” she asked hopefully.

She could see he looked better today, and hoped it meant he had changed his mind and would stay. She didn’t want to lose him, just by being there, he grounded her. She relied on him more than she would admit.

“I am. Like you I hadn’t told anyone what really happened to me. After Ferelden’s circle, I was angry and let that blind me. To be honest, I didn’t like who that made me, but at least now I can put some distance between myself and what happened. I can start again.” He briefly paused, then smiled. “And you helped me get there.” 

“Likewise, you help me more than you know. You’re a good man, Cullen. Never doubt that.” Krista put her hand on his face. “And besides, who else can calibrate trebuchets with such dedication and precision?” she laughed.

Cullen groaned. “Well. I’m glad to see at least you understand the importance now. You should trust me, I do know what I’m doing, you know,” he replied. 

“I never doubted that, Commander. And of course I do,” she grinned. 

“Oh, there was something I wanted to ask. I don’t suppose you know what happened to my lyrium box. It was gone when I returned to my office,” he asked pointedly. 

“Your lyrium box? Really?” she asked, her face deadpan.

Cullen was watching her. “I suppose we’ll never know. It’s not as if anyone saw who took it, is it?”

Krista wondered, had he seen her go back into his office? “It’s just one of life’s little mysteries, I guess,” she said innocently.

“Uh-huh,” he replied. “Don’t forget this afternoon you have your nug throwing ceremony. From what I’ve heard, half of Skyhold will be there. I still don’t get it” he sighed, shaking his head.

“Morale, people always like some fun. Laughter is good for you, something you should know by now. I think if I didn’t tease you, you’d be Commander Grumpy Face.” She laughed.

She saw Cullen rub the back of his neck.”Maker’s breath! I think this my cue to go.” 

Krista realised she still had her hand on Cullen’s face, but when she went to move it, he took her hand in his glove and squeezed it. It was such a small gesture, but so full of solace.

“I’ll meet you in the mess,” he said, smiling at her, then let go of her hand and left. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that afternoon as Krista surveyed the scene, she knew Cullen had been wrong. Most of Skyhold had turned out to see stuffed fabric nugs being slung across the mountains on loaned trebuchets. Soon a smiling Krem, along with Bull turned up with a basket of stuffed nugs, and proceedings began. 

She saw Cassandra and Cullen approach with Varric, Dorian and Sera and Blackwall, trailing behind.

Cassandra snorted. “Inquisitor, I would like to point out how frivolous this is,” she exclaimed and then turned to Cullen “And you allow this? Could you not dissuade her?” 

Cullen opened his mouth, “Well...I...”he began, and then thought better of it. Krista knew he’d only implicate himself as well. 

“Cassandra, that’s the whole point, it’s just a bit of fun. Just go with it.” She teased.

“Seeker, everyone needs their pleasure, for you it’s...” Varric began.

“Yes, Varric, I’m well aware of what it is, thank you,” interrupted Cassandra. They all knew her penchant for Swords & Shields. And Varric had generously agreed to provide more instalments for her.

When the stuffed nugs began to fly from the trebuchets, whoops, laughter, and oohs and aahs emanated from the crowd, the sounds echoing back from the mountains around Skyhold. After everything they’d been through it was nice to see some joy, and people just having fun. Bull and Krem were setting up, and Cullen had actually left his soldiers to work the trebuchets.

Sera suddenly screamed, jumping up and down. “Yes, got it! Pay up, that one hit the next peak.” She put out her hand and watched Varric counting out her winnings.

“So Sera, does that mean the drinks are on you tonight?” asked Dorian smirking. Sera’s response was to blow a raspberry at him. 

“So eloquent,” he said, shaking his head.

When Krista turned back to watch, she sensed someone behind her, and then a hand on her arm. She assumed it was Dorian, because he had a habit of doing that. So she put her hand on his, and then realised it wasn’t him. Dorian’s hands were soft and his nails manicured. This hand was much rougher, with stubby nails, and come to think of it larger too. She glanced at her arm, ever so slightly turning her head. Cullen. It was his hand on her arm. She never felt his hands before, he always wore gloves. 

“You were right after all,” he said quietly, whispering in her ear. 

“Trust me next time?” she whispered back, and stroked his hand with her thumb a couple of times for affirmation.

“Alright,” came the reply with a reluctant tone of acceptance. His thumb was making light circular motions on her hand between the knuckles of her forefinger and thumb. The skin on his thumb was rough like fine grains of sand, but it still felt soothing, and even amongst the noise and commotion, made her feel as if she was slightly drifting away. 

Krista wasn’t aware she began to lean backwards, until she sensed Cullen step forwards and catch her against his chest. The armour was cold against her head, and it brought her back a little.

“I thought you were going to fall,” he said gently.

“Thanks,” she replied softly. “I like that thing you do with your thumb, it’s relaxing.”

Cullen looked at his hand, he hadn’t even been conscious of what he’d been doing, and stopped. And it seemed that she didn’t realise she was stroking his fingers. He liked the sensation of her fingertips tracing up and down his fingers, slightly rough from using her bow.

“Cullen, you stopped,” she complained, her voice still quiet

“Do you know you’re stroking my fingers?” he replied, equally quietly. She stopped, now aware of what she’d been doing. 

“Oh, I was, wasn’t I? Oh...” He heard a little snigger.”I won’t tell if you won’t,” she murmured conspiratorially.

“You have a deal there,” he replied and saw her turn slightly to look up at him. She was smiling and winked. He couldn’t help but return her smile. It was only when Sera cackled they both became aware there was an audience watching them. Cullen took his hand from her arm, and they moved apart. 

“Maker, are you lot so starved for entertainment then?” Krista said loudly and shook her head. “Why aren’t you watching the nugs?”

Dorian smirked at her “They stopped a few minutes ago. But I have to say the two of you were much more amusing to watch.” 

Krista groaned loudly. “Well, show’s over now, back to your homes,” she said, shooing them away. Cullen was blushing slightly. He could be such a contradiction, sometimes forceful, sometimes so shy. 

Varric grinned broadly “So, who’s for the Tavern then?” he asked to murmurs of approval, and the others set off up the slope, back to the bridge into Skyhold.

As Krista watched them leave, she heard Sera. “Not long now, I reckon. It’ll be bits up, face down.”

“Tasteful, Buttercup, tasteful,” she heard Varric reply.

“You do realise the comments are going to step up now,” Cullen said wearily, putting his glove back on.

They already were she thought. “Yeah, I know...but quite honestly...fuck it,” Krista said, waving her hand dismissively. 

Cullen laughed. “Back to my office then, Inquisitor?”

Krista turned and looked at him. “Absolutely, Commander.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Krista arrives back a day early from being out in the field. She gets a surprise when she finds Cullen in her room.
> 
> POV Inquisitor

It was a few weeks before Krista was back in Skyhold. They had gone to Emprise de Lion to deal with the Red Templars, and close down the Red Lyrium mine they found there. It was brutal. The Red Templars were firmly ensconced there, using some villagers to mine the red lyrium that they grew from the other villagers. Future Redcliffe came to mind, and Fiona in her cell; the red lyrium an integral part of her. 

The letters she found in the mine, she sent to Skyhold, to Cullen. He sent back instructions for some of the soldiers to do a more thorough search, while she and her team went off to Suledin Keep. Apparently there was a particularly cunning demon to deal with. That was fine; demons were her team’s speciality. Once he was out of the way, they added a third keep to the Inquisition’s holdings, which were now becoming vaster with every new area they came to. And a new agent with Michel de Chevin. Her plan was to assign him to Cullen, who felt with his experience, he’d be a good mentor for their younger soldiers. Krista sent Michel on ahead to Skyhold.

They barely had a day to rest, before they rode off to the Emerald Graves, following information from Cullen. He’d received intelligence that Samson was smuggling red lyrium throughout the Graves, and he needed more details. Between tracking down the shipments and helping refugees from the Orlesian Civil War, she realised all four of them were getting exhausted now. But she did manage to recruit yet another agent, Fairbanks, before they left.

They needed to get home to proper beds, proper food, and some rest before Halamshiral. Krista had begun to get panicked missives from Josie. She needed them back for uniform fittings and dancing lessons. Fucking dancing lessons, she’d had enough of them as a child. Krista was dreading Halamshiral, she hated all the crap that came with being a noble. The thought of being married of to some gormless noble idiot and forced to live a life where she couldn’t be herself, was what made her leave home in the first place.

They managed to arrive back a day early. A hot bath, some decent food and sleep was all she wanted right now. Everything else could go hang for the moment. She trudged all the way up to her room, tired, smelly and still covered in dust and mud from the road.

As she got to the top of the stairs and dropped her weapons and backpack on the floor with a thud, she heard Cullen’s voice, slightly startled.

“Oh Maker...you’re back early. We were expecting you tomorrow,” he said.

Krista looked up. There he was, in a tub in her room. “What the...?” she wasn’t expecting that.

“Erm...you did say I could use your room in your absence,” his voice a little nervous.

Of course she had, she now remembered. “I did, didn’t I. Sorry, you just surprised me,” she replied, now staring. 

This was the first time she’d seen him out of uniform, let alone with no clothes on. A little ripple of nervousness settled in her stomach. Only his upper body was on view thank goodness, but what she could see was impressive. Scattered over his torso were some of the scars they swopped stories on. Krista knew he still trained hard, even though he wasn’t out in the field much, and Maker, did it show. She swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump now settled in her throat. She knew she’d embarrassed herself, by virtually leering at him. 

Sweet Maker, leave and let the poor guy finish, she thought to herself.

“I’ll let you finish. Don’t worry I’ll grab some food, and then come back for a bath,” she offered.

“Why don’t you use this one? I was only soaking stiff muscles, the water is quite clean,” he replied and started to get up. 

Krista didn’t get to turn around quick enough. It was only a glimpse, but she’d seen more of Cullen then, than she had in all the time she’d known him. And he was...Maker, stop thinking like that, she thought. He’s your friend, get a grip. She kept repeating the thought over and over in her head.

“It’s ok, you can turn around now, I’m decent,” she heard him say laughing.

Thank the Maker, she thought. When she did turn, he had pants on and was just grabbing his shirt. It wasn’t enough to dispel the flutter she had in the top of her chest. He was watching her as he put his shirt on; her hand was rubbing across her sternum, and she swallowed again.

“Are you...embarrassed?” he asked quizzically.

Krista had to clear her throat before she could speak. “It’s not often you get an eyeful of someone’s...shit...what I meant was...”she scratched her head, trying desperately regain the use of words. “Look, if you walked in on me and saw me naked, wouldn’t you be embarrassed?”

“Sweet Maker, I’m sorry I didn’t think. I just wanted to give the bath over to you. I didn’t realise you’d seen...” Now he was blushing and Krista could see him rubbing the back of his neck. He tended to do that when he was nervous or confused.

So there they were, both at a loss for words for the first time, locked together in a self-conscious moment. 

Krista managed to compose herself enough to speak. “Don’t worry. Honestly, it was just a bit of a shock. Finish dressing, and then I can dive into your second hand bath,” she joked. That seemed to break the ice and Cullen laughed.

“OK,” he said, his voice now more normal. “You should get some rest too, you look tired.”

Krista sighed heavily “You wouldn’t believe how much so. I’m totally fucked,” she replied and realised what she’s said. But no, she said that before, why did it matter now? Because her mind was still partially focused on what she’d seen. She settled on unpacking her backpack as a diversion while he got dressed.

“So, are you coming to see me later?” Cullen asked, now putting on his armour.

“Of course, if you’re not in the middle of dancing lessons,” she laughed.

She couldn’t resist the dig, she knew how much Cullen hated having to do them. When Josie started preparations for Halamshiral after Adamant, he objected even having to be there, let alone take dancing lessons.

“You may well laugh, but if Josephine knows you’re back, you can guarantee what she’ll have you doing first thing in the morning.” Cullen snickered.

“Arse,” she retorted. “At least I can manage some grace on the dance floor.”

“Excuse me, are you suggesting I’m clumsy? I’ll have you know, I’ve made some progress. No toes were crushed in the last week.” Krista looked up to see him smiling.

“Ah well, that does sound like progress. I’ll believe it when I see it though.” Teasing him came back naturally, now she was calm again. It had probably been just the surprise, she thought.

“Alright then, just to prove it, when we get to Halamshiral, you can dance with me.” Cullen was now standing with his arms folded, as he issued the challenge.

Krista shook her head. “Ok, I’ll accept your challenge. But only after everything is over, I don’t want crushed toes if I have to engage in combat. It would screw up my acrobatics.” She got up and walked over to him, offering him her hand. They shook to settle the challenge. 

“Inquisitor, I have the feeling you don’t trust me on this?” he teased.

“Commander, on the battlefield I have no hesitation, I would trust you with my life. But on the dance floor, I err on the side of caution,” she replied, pressing her finger briefly on to his unarmoured chest, which felt comfortingly solid. “Now please finish dressing and clear off. I would like to take advantage of that bath before it goes stone cold.”

“As my Lady wishes,” he replied, with a slight bow.

He knew how much she disliked her title, and how much using it wound her up. “Cullen, call me that again, and I will get you back I promise, ok?” Krista put on her best stern face, folding her arms.

Cullen laughed, and carried on putting on his armour. Krista went back to her backpack. As he finished and went to leave, he bent down and whispered “If you want to look stern, I think you have more work to do before you nail it,” he joked. “See you later.”

“Yeah, yeah...” she had to smile. He was right, she didn’t do stern very well.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a massage, a spider and a kiss
> 
> POV Cullen

Cullen thought he’d ask Krista to try and massage his shoulder, as well as his neck. He’d somehow managed to strain it during training earlier, and it was still bothering him. He’d hoped that bath would ease it, but she’d then arrived back sooner than expected. It made movement of his shoulder uncomfortable, and that wasn’t going to help with these damn dancing lessons he had to put up with, that had all sorts of ridiculous arm poses. 

He was read some more reports while waiting for her. Samson, why in the Maker’s name was he working with Corypheus? Cullen knew his lyrium addiction was bad, but this? And what they’d found in Emprise de Lion, making red lyrium from people, that was obscene. They still needed more information before they could track down his base, and he’d sent people out to try and track it down. One thing was for sure, he’d be going along when they had the location.

He heard knocking on the door and smiled. Every time now, she knocked without fail. “Come in” he shouted.

A blonde head peered around the door “Hey you” she smiled, greeting him and then came over to his side of the desk and took her usual position. He’d long since got another chair, but always left his chair for her.

“Feeling better now?” Cullen asked, putting down the report.

“And then some. I have something for you too.” Krista handed him a small bowl and winked.

Cullen looked inside, a blueberry pastry. They both loved them, but they disappeared quickly whenever Cook made them. “How did you...?”

“Let’s just say I put some old skills to use” she smirked. “Just in case I needed them for Halamshiral.” She tapped her nose.

“Thank you. Did you want to share?” he added offering her the bowl.

She shook her head and laughed. “I had mine on the way here. Couldn’t wait. It’s yours.”

Cullen put the whole thing in his mouth and devoured it. They were good. He took a swig from a bottle on his desk to wash it down.

“Krista, I have a favour to ask...” he began

“Doing your neck isn’t a favour Cullen, and you don’t need to ask,” she interrupted and got up.

“Actually I wondered if you would work on my shoulder as well. I’ve strained it, that’s why the bath earlier. It makes doing these ridiculous dances difficult.” Cullen looked at her, as she walked over.

“Of course I will, but you will need to take your armour and tunic off. I need to feel where it’s worst and probably work on the area around as well.” she said. “And it would better if you were lying down, in case I need to tread on you,” she sniggered.

“In case you what?” he asked incredulously. “Are you serious?” He’d never heard of such a thing.

“Oh Cullen, I know me being serious is rare, but this time I am.” He could see her laughing now. “Not with my whole weight, just a little. And before you ask, this is not a wind-up.”

He did know she’d travelled a lot, and it still amazed him the amount of strange things she had learnt.

“Ok, we’d better go upstairs then.” Cullen got up and moved over to the ladder, waiting for Krista.

“After you,” he indicated for her to go first.

“No way, last time I nearly bought both of us down, remember?” Krista waved him up.

“Ah, good point.” Cullen made his way up the ladder, and then helped Krista into his loft, when she reached the top.

“Cullen, seriously! Have you had nothing done since I last came up here? The place looks practically the same as it did when we got to Skyhold.” She stood, one hand on her hip and the other scratching her head as she surveyed his room. “Oh well, it’s your room.”

“I tided up the lumber and got some furniture up here” he replied grinning.

“Oh Maker, just get undressed would you, and I can sort out your shoulder and neck.” She shook her head.

Cullen stripped off his coat, armour and tunic, and lay down on the bed with just his shirt on the upper half of his body. He felt Krista kneel beside him and start work. She then stopped. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I think I need you to take your shirt off as well, I can’t see what I’m doing. Sorry,” she replied patting his back.

“Not a problem.” Cullen turned over and sat up to take his shirt off. For a moment he thought he heard a sharp exhale come from Krista and looked back at her. 

“Turn over then, and let’s do this.” She motioned for him to move, and he turned back onto his front.

Krista began to work on his shoulder and as she did, he could feel the discomfort easing. Whenever she massaged his neck, it always made him relax, and sometimes fall asleep. This was just as good. Her hands found the knots, and just eased them away. There was always this strange combination of slightly rough fingers and smooth palms. He knew she only wore half gloves with her bow, which just protected her palms. This time though, it was soothing but stimulating too. He felt a slight tingle sliding down his spine.

Suddenly she screamed. Her hands pulled away from his back, and he glanced round to see what was happening. 

Krista was off the bed and tugging of her waistcoat and shirt, which she then threw onto the floor, leaving on just her breastband. He could see she was trying to look at her front and back. He leapt up off the bed. “What? What happened?” 

“For fuck’s sake Cullen. I come to help you, and get molested by the bloody wildlife you keep in this pit you call a bedroom,” she shouted. “A big, huge, fucking spider!” she shuddered and then shook herself. 

Cullen couldn’t help smiling. “Do you want me to check it’s gone?” he asked.

“Yes, just make sure it’s still not on me. I keep feeling it,” she pleaded. He knew she hated spiders. 

He took hold of her shoulders, and as he scanned her back, he saw the tattoo. Maker’s breath! It sort of looked like a cat, but it was some strange abstract design. And the scars, nicks and cuts, some that looked old, and the newer one that she’d got from the demon at Adamant.

“Well, is it gone?” she was still shaking.

“It’s gone,” he replied, now walking back to face her. It was then he saw the scar on her front. A nasty looking, jagged one on the right side of her chest. She’d never spoken about this one, but had stories for plenty of others. 

“Maker’s breath, Krista,” he exclaimed. “How did you get that scar?” He saw her hand go up to cover it. 

She lowered her head, and breathed in sharply. “The guy I told you about, it was a warning from him.” Then she looked back up at Cullen. “Can you check my shirt and waistcoat please, so I can get dressed? I can then finish your back.”

“Of course,” he answered gently, he could see she was uncomfortable. Maker, he shouldn’t have asked, he’d only gone and reminded her again of one of the worst times of her life.

He went to pick up her shirt, and a large spider came scuttling out, now moving towards her. 

Krista screamed again louder this time. “Do something! It’s coming for me.” She was panicking now, her eyes wide. 

Cullen strode over and picked her up, and she slung her arms around his neck, now clinging on. The sheer terror over something so small, he never got it. She’d happily launch herself against things that could kill her, but couldn’t bear a harmless spider. He knew he shouldn’t, but couldn’t help but laugh.

“Why are you laughing? It’s not funny” she shouted at him, looking cross.

“The Inquisitor, famed for facing down dragons, demons, Venatori and Red Templars, felled by a single spider. Imagine if that got out. If they saw you now, your fearsome reputation would be ruined.” He really couldn’t stop snickering now.

He saw Krista start to smile. “Shut up, Cullen,” she said lightly and slapped him softly on his chest. He could see her cheeks were slightly tinged with red, not as much as earlier that day, just a gentle shade.

“What? No thanks for rescuing you from the dangerous beastie?” he teased. 

The blush intensified a little and he saw her eyes, the pupils expanded. He didn’t know if she realised, but it was exactly what he saw earlier. In her room he thought it was maybe a one off, but now, he knew it wasn’t. He could see she was attracted to him, in a way she’d never been before. Still holding her, he now became aware it was the first time he’d felt her skin on his like this. His arm touching her waist, her arms touching his neck and shoulders, her breathing slightly fast from the panic. Somehow, something had shifted slightly between them. 

“Put me down, but not on the floor,” she said, her voice quiet.

Cullen walked over to the bed and dropped her feet down, so she could stand up on the bed. She wobbled slightly, and grabbed his shoulders. When he caught her by the hips in a reflex action, she caught her breath. He looked up into her face, and then she kissed him, hard, on the mouth. It lasted no more than a few seconds before she drew back.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry...I just...you were...” she said, looking shocked, then pulled away from him.

He was momentarily stunned, letting her go, but then seized her arm as she went to jump off the bed.”Wait!” he said firmly. He wanted to stop her from running away. If she was determined, he knew she would go, but hoped she wouldn’t. They needed to discuss what was happening between them. Because in that brief moment when she kissed him, he liked it.

Krista paused, and then folded onto her knees, on the bed. “Shit, shit...” he heard.

Cullen sat down on the bed next to her. “We need to talk,” he said gently.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen and Krista come to an agreement.

“Just tell me truthfully now, do you regret it?” Cullen asked, watching for her reaction.

“I...not kissing you, no...but ruining what we had, yes.” Krista lifted her head to look at him. “It was uncomplicated, comfortable and easy. Now, well, it just got messy.” She’d just screwed it up, she knew it. It was bad enough when he held her, but when he grabbed her hips, she couldn’t hold back. Shit, shit...

“Honestly, I’m still adjusting but...” he began.

“See,” she said interrupting “I’ve made you uncomfortable now.” You’re an arse Krista, she thought.

“Maker’s breath, can I at least finish?” he said impatiently. “What I was trying to say was I don’t regret it either.” He really didn’t. When she kissed him, if she hadn’t stopped, he didn’t know if he would have. In that one moment, everything had changed and they couldn’t go back to what was before. But how they moved on was what they needed to decide. 

“Oh,” came out quietly from Krista. Maker, what were they going to do with this mess. She’d always been comfortable with Cullen, because it meant she didn’t have to face a relationship. She moved position, pulling her knees up to her face, wrapping her arms around her calves, and rubbing her chin on them. 

Cullen saw what she was doing, and realised she was nervous now. There were times she would just get scared or nervous, and then she would bolt. Never from Inquisition work; but he’d seen it on a personal level. The way she avoided Vivienne as much as she could get away with was the most obvious. He guessed there was more fear inside her than even he knew, and she had probably opened up to him more than anyone. This conversation was going to press her on things she didn’t want to examine.

“We have two choices as I see it. Either we go forward, and see where it takes us. Let it just happen of its own accord. Or we try and scale down, because if we don’t we’ll just end up back here in a constant spiral.” Cullen watched her eyebrows furrow as he spoke. He let that sink in before he spoke again.

“I’m willing to try the first option, because I think what we have is too valuable to throw away, and I really like being with you. No-one can predict where we’ll end up, but I think I’d like to take a chance. What do you want, Krista?” He’d laid his cards on the table; the decision now lay with her.

What she’d tried to avoid for years, was now placed before her as an option. They already knew each other well, it was probably the best basis to start a relationship with, and she knew that. This was a world away from what happened before. But feeling bound to someone as a friend, was different to being bound to someone as more. 

She took a deep breath to try and steady herself; so she could at least be calmer and more rational. 

He said just let things happen, well maybe it could work. Could they without losing what they had? Or would it just become a bigger mess. Maker, she didn’t know. Fuck, fuck, fuck, it was always the same with her. She was scared of everything going wrong, because that was what she always expected, what she’d known. She looked back at Cullen.

Cullen was a good person, and had always taken care of her when she needed it. He’d rescued her after Haven and then at Adamant. And they made each other laugh. Could this work? Maker, here she was dithering like some adolescent. She really had to stop being such a coward and take a chance.

Krista took a deep breath. “OK, let’s try, and see how it goes. But I am scared, just to warn you. It wasn’t something I ever expected to find here.” She unhooked her arms, and let her knees drop to sit cross legged. She felt a sense of relief. Why she did, she wasn’t sure. 

Cullen knew that was the sign, she’d dropped her defences then. He smiled. “It’s the same for me too, this isn’t what I expected to find either.” He shuffled up the bed now laying down, leaning on one elbow. “Come here” he said putting his hand out to her, and watched as she smiled.

Krista shuffled up and lay down next to Cullen, with his arm now around her waist. She could feel her heart beating a little faster, and grinned broadly. She really did want to kiss him again, but also had another thought. Why it occurred to her then, she had no idea. But there it was, and now she could find out. 

“Maker, you do lurch from one state to another sometimes,” he laughed. “Is there something on your mind?” he asked, watching her.

“I want to see if you still taste good. Kiss me again?” She asked biting her lip.

“I tasted good did I? Huh.” Cullen leant down and kissed her, and before he knew it her hands were in his hair, ruffling, pulling as she practically devoured his mouth. He gripped her waist harder and heard her moan. For a moment he thought it was all moving too fast. He then felt her break the kiss.

Krista rubbed her lips together. “You taste even better than before, and have such soft lips,” she sighed and then opened her eyes. She caressed Cullen’s head with her hands still in his hair. “I also found out something else.”

“And what was that?” he asked, still wanting to kiss her more. Then he saw the grin she adopted when she’d been up to something, and just knew, even before she spoke.

“I know why Varric calls you Curly now,” she laughed, pulling her hands out of his now completely ruffled hair. “I like it unkempt like this.” She saw Cullen roll his eyes.

“Maker’s breath! That was...underhand.” He paused for a moment and saw Krista still smiling. “Don’t think this is going to remain unchallenged,” he added trying to look stern.

“And I wouldn’t expect any less than a comeback from you.” She reached up and traced his scar. “Now that is something I have wanted to do.” 

“You like it then, I take it?” he teased. “So, if I said you couldn’t touch it?” he smirked. Cullen couldn’t resist teasing her. 

“I wouldn’t listen. You’d have to physically take my hand away.” She grinned and kept stroking his scar.

Cullen grabbed her wrist and took her hand away from his mouth, and Krista responded by putting her other hand there. He sat up and switched her wrist to his other hand, then took hold of her other wrist with his free hand. He sat astride her, and pushed her arms over her head, pinning her wrists to the bed with his hands. He was now leaning over her.He could see her breathing faster now and the pulse ticking in her neck. He worried then he may have scared her.

“I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he apologised and let go.

“You didn’t... you’ve never made me afraid.” She swallowed, not quite believing how her body responded to him, when he held onto her. The feel of his rough hands on her wrists, the pressure of him holding her down. If he’d kissed her, she would have just given herself to him, whatever he wanted. She didn’t understand how easily she lost control with him.

She had to distract herself. “It’s just... I need to finish working on your shoulder.” Concentrating on that would help calm her down she hoped.

“Of course.” He moved off, and Krista rolled to allow him to lie back down on the bed. 

She moved over and started massaging his shoulder. The distraction was working. She could hear him aahing his approval as she worked on him. It wasn’t too bad; a lot of the work was done earlier. As she finished, she couldn’t resist, leaning over and whispering in his ear. “That’ll teach me to take up with an older man,” she teased.

Cullen wasn’t going to let that one go. He turned and dragged her over him onto the bed. She let out a shriek and then started giggling when he began to tickle her.

“Tell me why I put up with you?” he asked, rolling back. She was now curled up, and he couldn’t get any purchase on her.

“Because,” she began smirking. “I make you laugh.” They both finished together.

He stroked his hand on the side her face and watched her close her eyes, unfolding her body now. As he moved his hand down her face, over her chin and down her neck, he heard hums of approval. Maker, the way she responded to him. It was strange, one minute they were joking as they had always done, the next he wanted her. This was going to take some getting used to.

He leant down to kiss her, and his lips were almost on hers, when the door below opened and a voice shouted “Commander?” He sighed, and saw Krista smile.

“Yes, what is it?” he shouted back, tersely. 

“Sister Nightingale wondered if you could spare some time, she need to talk to you about arrangements for Halamshiral. She has received some new information,” came the response.

“Very well, tell her I’ll be there shortly” he replied. He heard the door close as the messenger left. Cullen kissed Krista gently on the mouth.

“I have to go,” he sighed.

“Sure, I should too.” She stroked his scar again and he laughed. “But would you make sure the floor is clear before I get off the bed?”

“For you, always” he said, and got up to see if the coast was clear. It was.

They both got dressed and left. His eyes lingered on her as she walked across the courtyard toward the Great Hall. She moved so lightly, and Hawke’s comment came back to him. Then she was gone, and he set off over the walkway to see Leliana.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barely having come together, circumstances around them lead to Cullen and Krista having their first argument. Both are angry, but Krista more so.
> 
> Inspiration for the Michel de Chevin nearly kiss from To the Victor a Kiss by TheMightyZan
> 
> Minor violence and some NSFW

The next days after they made their decision, things went on pretty much as normal except her evening visits involved less talking, and more kissing. They wanted to keep it quiet, so kept to their usual routine. Plus both of them were busy with preparations for Halamshiral. 

Apart from the tedious dancing lessons, that meant advice and instruction in the Game from Josie and Leliana for Krista. Her head was buzzing with all the things she should and shouldn’t say or do and how to control her reactions, which for her wasn’t always easy. Krista wasn’t good with restrictions. She could do it up to a point, and then...well accidents could and often did happen.

And that’s how she ended up in a mess the day before they were due to leave for Halamshiral. Many things had lined to bring it about; dancing lessons, drinking, partially overheard gossip, wrong assumptions, one punch, as well as far too much pride and anger.

It began with one of the dance instructors falling ill, and so Michel de Chevin was drafted in to take over with Krista. According to Josie, he was a talented dancer as well as a chevalier. Krista certainly found him easier to work with than her previous instructor, and he was funny too. Unfortunately, Cullen didn’t think the same way. He complained he held her too tightly, and was way too friendly for his liking. Krista thought he was making too much out of the situation, but tried to placate him anyway, saying it was only for a few more days. She thought that was the end of it. 

Then there was last night in the tavern, when too much drink had been imbibed. Krista needed to let off some steam; she wasn’t drunk as yet, but was working hard on getting there. Michel had arrived and decided he wanted to keep her company. 

At first she didn’t mind, but then when he tried to kiss her, tried to being the operative word, she smacked him the mouth, and left telling him “Try that again, and next time it will be somewhere more painful.” Krista avoided brawling in her previous career where she could, but sometimes it was unavoidable, so she made sure she could handle herself.

She realised Cullen had been right, and she knew she needed to speak to him. Firstly, to stop him doing anything when he found out, and secondly, the Inquisitor had clocked one of his agents. However, Cullen had overhead a couple of his soldiers taking about it, but missed the bit where she’d hit Michel. So when she went to his office that morning, the inevitable occurred.

When Krista arrived, instead of his usual smile, Cullen was scowling at her.

“Cullen, I need to talk to about Michel de Chevin,” she began. “There was a bit of an incident in the tavern last night, and you should be aware,” she said, hoping to head him off, so he didn’t dive out straight after Michel. One punch was enough. 

“I am already aware. I had to hear about it from barracks gossip. It would have been nice if you could have told me first.” He had that terse tone, when he was keeping himself under control.

“Oh, OK. I just wanted to make sure that you didn’t do anything, Can we just draw a line under it?” she asked smiling. 

“Excuse me? I thought it was me you wanted to be with. Now you’re off dallying with some Orlesian as well, and expect me to say that’s fine. Maker, I thought I knew you better than that,” he said angrily, rubbing his forehead. Did she just expect him to just accept it?

It was then that occurred to Krista something was awry. “Cullen, what exactly did you hear?”

“That he kissed you in the tavern. I overhead it passing through the barracks.” He was still angry with her and raised his voice now.

“OK and you didn’t think to ask me what actually happened.” She was getting equally angry now. Krista stared at him; did he really think she would...?

“Well I...assumed." he stumbled.

The fact that he just assumed, and didn’t bother to ask her made her furious. She thought he knew her better than that.

“I would explain it to you, but evidently random gossip trumps my word. Fuck you, Cullen!” she was now screaming at him.

Krista turned on her heel and stormed out. She was fuming at him and at herself; she should have known relationships were trouble. She’d been a fool to agree to it. She ignored him shouting for her to come back. He could go screw himself.

She marched back through Solas’ rotunda and then into the Great Hall, her face like thunder. 

Varric saw her and called out “Cat?”

“Not now Varric,” she hissed back, and carried on up to her room, stomping all the way up the flights of stairs. She really needed to hit something now, or throw something, whichever came to hand first.

As he went back to his paperwork, Varric then heard boots marching through the doors. He looked up and he saw that new Orlesian agent, Michel whatshisname, looking ashen. He went through the door to Ruffles’ office. Now Varric was intrigued. He’d been in the tavern, when Cat punched him in the mouth. Maker, she’d been mad. He remembered thinking he’d not want to be on the other side of her temper.

Ten minutes later Varric then saw Cullen come through looking like he could kill someone.

“Curly?” He called.

“Not now Varric,” he growled and took the same route as Krista, but got waylaid by Josie who’d just come out into the Hall.

Then it hit him. When did they get together? Shit. They’d missed picking up on this. He thought they’d got it covered.

“Cullen, I need to speak to you urgently, right now in fact,” Josephine said, standing in front of him. Probably not a safe move, considering the battering ram he potentially was at that point.

“Ambassador, I really need to speak with the Inquisitor right now, it’s important” he replied, his anger barely under control.

“It’s about Michel de Chevin,” she said nervously.

“If I hear that man’s name again, I’ll...” Cullen gripped the hilt of his sword. 

Josephine was looking at him, and then his hand on his sword. She lowered her voice and softened her tone. “Cullen...he is extremely apologetic for what he tried to do, he knows we have helped him by bringing him into the Inquisition. He asked me to speak to you on his behalf. He knows he shouldn’t have tried to kiss the Inquisitor. He did try and come to you himself as his de facto commanding officer, but then heard you and the Inquisitor arguing. Cullen, she cracked two of his front teeth and split his lip when she punched him, she was so angry. He daren’t even approach her now to apologise.”

Cullen felt his anger start to subside. Maker’s breath, he had really got this badly wrong. No wonder she was so furious with him. He hadn’t even asked, he’d just assumed. His hand went up to his neck, rubbing it furiously. 

“She punched him? When he tried to kiss her?” he repeated, knowing the answer. He had to admire her spirit.

“Yes, he is mortified. He would understand if we asked him to leave, but he has information valuable to the Inquisition. I have an idea. I could take him on as one of my agents, taking him away from you, and any further...problems. I would make sure he is away from Skyhold, as much as possible.” Josephine looked at Cullen.

He sighed. “Of course, Ambassador. I think that would be the best solution.” Cullen realised he now had a bigger problem, trying to repair things with Krista. He hung his head trying to think, and then felt Josephine put her hand on his arm.

“You need to talk to her. From what Michel heard, it was evident you two are together, even if none of us knew. She needs to be calmer if we are going to Halamshiral. We all know how much stress she has been under getting ready, all the attention will inevitably be on her, and she has to be ready to deal with it. She needs you, even if she is angry with you right now.” Josephine nodded at him. “Go to her.”

Krista was incandescent at this point, how could he? She really thought he knew her better than that, evidently not. She’d been pacing around her room, getting more and more worked up. This was no good she thought, she needed to vent the rage and badly. She went through her desk looking for her throwing knives. She would go and attack the training dummies, and imagine they were Michel and Cullen. Then she heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and knew it was Cullen.

She saw him appear at the top of the stairs, and that’s when the first knife flew past his ear, and went straight through the window behind, scattering glass on the landing.

“That’s the warning shot. Come any closer, and the next one won’t be.” Her voice fierce with anger.

Cullen stopped dead. The rage in her face evident, and her hand holding another knife ready to let loose. “I came to apologise. I was wrong, and I should have spoken to you, not assumed. I know that, and I just came to talk. Can you please put down the blades?” His voice steady and gentle. He carefully took off his sword and belt just in case, and laid it down.

“Apologise, really? You think you can just waltz up here and expect me to fall into your arms and say, thank you Cullen? Fuck you, and fuck your apology.” she seethed the words at him. “You of all people know what I went through before.”

Cullen knew that’s why she was so upset. Everything coming together, all the pressure and then him being an arse. It was a trigger. “No, I just want us to sit down and talk, that’s all I ask,” he kept his voice gentle; she was still playing with the knife. 

Krista looked at his face; she could see he wasn’t angry any more. Either he’d realised, or someone had spoken to him. “Alright, we can talk,” she began and threw a knife halfway between them into the floor. ”But you come no closer than that blade.”

She saw him walk up where the knife was and remain there. Good, he respected boundaries. She was still angry, but his calm demeanour was had eased off the worst of her rage. “So, talk,” she said dismissively.

Cullen tried not to flinch when the second knife flew, he could see her hand pointed downward, but still. Maker, she really was wild when she was angry. “Krista, forgive me. I don’t want to lose you, or what we have, what we can have. You’re the best thing that has happened to me in such a long time. I don’t know where I would be without you.” He saw her thinking, and her hand stopped playing with the knife. 

Cullen watched as she raised her hand to her chin, pressing the pommel of the knife against it. “Why should I have a relationship with a man that can’t even be bothered to talk to me, or trust me? Tell me why,” she demanded, her voice now steady.

“Because I love you and need you, and I’m not ready to give up. Whatever it takes, I’ll make it up to you.” He smiled slightly.

Shit, he smiled at her, that little smile that always disarmed her. But she wasn’t going to let him off that easily. She put down her knives. “Ok come in. I’m not sure yet, but I’ll disarm...for now.” Her anger wasn’t completely gone, but she was safer to be around. She moved away from the desk, to show him she wouldn’t pick them up again.

Cullen stepped into her room. She looked less angry now, but he thought caution was still needed. He walked up to where she was standing, and stood a few steps away. 

“I won’t bite you know” she said, slightly smiling. “I’m still pissed off with you though.” Krista took two steps forward and looked up at his face, then saw him turn away slightly. He was still nervous, and probably looking for something to say. She punched him in the side of the face, not hard, just enough to make her point. “Now we’re even,” she said. 

“What in the Maker’s name?” Cullen rubbed his jaw. It wasn’t that hard, but she caught him by surprise. The blow annoyed him a little, and now she was smiling? He couldn’t keep up with her sometimes. First she’s throwing blades, now she’s smiling at him. Oh...it was that smile. He could see her pupils blown and her breathing intense. 

“Trust me; you got off easier than the last guy. I like you...a lot.” Krista was teasing him now. The anger had morphed into something different; right now she just wanted him. She stepped right up to him, and fisted her hands into his coat. “Cullen...” she breathed seductively.

Maker take him, right then he felt himself get hard. They’d not actually had sex yet, but he’d thought about it, nights when she sat on his lap. All that want bubbled up, but he wasn’t going to make it easy for her, after that performance. “So, you expect me to fuck you now, after all that?” he asked slightly harshly.

“Maker, yes please” her eyes half closed, and her voice almost begging him. “I want you to throw me down onto the bed, and I want to feel you fucking me.” She was almost delirious with desire now; just the thought of him was enough to make her head spin madly.

Cullen lost his resolve then, just watching her. No one had ever reacted with him like that; she was so... he couldn’t stop himself. He picked her up and threw her on the bed and yanked off her boots. He tried to undo the laces on her pants, but they were too firmly tied, so he pulled the dagger out of his boot and sliced through them, then dropping his dagger, and pulling off his gloves. 

All he could think about was sinking himself into this woman who couldn’t stop moaning his name now. He reached up, hooking his fingers over the waistband, and pulled off her pants and smalls. He flipped her over on the bed, onto her stomach and pulled her up onto her knees, opening up her legs. When she arched up her bottom, his fingers fumbled trying to undo his buttons. Finally he managed to get them undone and release his straining cock. He guided himself into her and then pushed in hard. 

Krista screamed, the ecstasy of his hard cock driving inside her now, was more than she imagined. She moaned out his name, all the tension in her body building even more, she was barely aware of anything else around her, save the grunts that were now coming from Cullen, as out of control as she was then. Both of them rocking forward when thrust into her, dragging back on her as he drew back. It was dirty and messy, and wonderful.

She felt him place his hands on her waist and pull her against him when he thrusting in, now harder and deeper. All the sensations felt like they exploded, and the tension uncoiled as she crashed over the edge and came screaming, clenching hard onto him. She could feel him still pounding away a little more until he came and sank hard into her, forcing out an “Oh Maker” from her. She heard a loud, long grunt, and she felt his hips twitch as he emptied into her.

Both of them were panting hard now. As he pulled out, she slipped down onto the bed; her body now limp and drained of all energy. The bed dipped as he sat down, and then he fell backwards onto the bed, next to her.

Krista started to laugh, still short of breath and saw Cullen look at her, a puzzled expression on his face. 

“Now that’s what I call an apology,” she said still laughing. She saw him roll his eyes.

“Cullen, do you really love me?” she asked.

“Of course, I wouldn’t have said it otherwise,” he answered smiling now, that little smile again. She could hear him equally breathless.

“I’m glad, because I love you too. You wouldn’t have pissed me off so much if I didn’t,” she replied.

“Well, that’s good. But remind me not to piss you off so much again. It was unnerving, well the first bit anyway. I can’t complain about the ending though,” he said looking at her. 

Cullen watched as she edged her way over to him and kissed him. He put his hands into her hair and ruffled it until it all fell down, hanging over her face. He sensed her smile against his mouth.

He did love her, but realised that their relationship was going to be much more complicated than when they were just friends.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halamshiral - assassins in the palace, and problems between Cullen and Krista.

Krista breathed a sigh of relief. The presentations to the Empress were over and she’d not put her foot in it, thank the Maker. She remembered Josie’s words “the Game is like Wicked Grace played to the death. You must never reveal your cards.” Right, she’d thought, no pressure then. Her first thought was to talk to Josie, who she guessed must have been praying Krista would not say anything inappropriate. Josie was standing with her sister, when Krista approached. She heard Josie tell her sister to stop slouching and had to smile.

“Well, Josie, how did I do then?” Krista asked. “I hope I haven’t given you too much worry.” she joked.

“Surprisingly well, I was most impressed. And I overhead several complimentary remarks from the court as well. If you continue in this vein, I promise to worry less,” she replied, diplomatic as ever. In other words, keep behaving, Krista thought.

After a few pleasantries with them both, Krista set off to do the thing she was actually good at, investigating and gathering information. Her years as a thief, learning to scope out targets and obtain intelligence, would serve her well here. Even though she couldn’t blend in as she normally would have, the self obsession with these people and their Game, she could use that. Krista could be very disarming when she put her mind to it.

Krista had found clues leading to the Library, and was on her way back to the Ballroom, when she ‘ran into’ Morrigan, Celene’s arcane advisor. Leliana had briefed her on Morrigan previously. Krista realised when talking to her, this woman was cunning and careful. Then, the thought that Vivienne wouldn’t have liked her influence made her warm to Morrigan a little.

“Perhaps you and I hunt the same prey?” Morrigan now asked scrutinising Krista.

“I don’t know, do we?” she replied, equally guarded.

Morrigan laughed “You are being coy.” she answered.

Krista didn’t smile “I’m being careful,” she replied pointedly.

“Not unwise, here of all places. Allow me to speak first, then.” And then went on to detail an encounter with a Venatori from the sounds of it. She gave Krista a key for the servants’ quarters. She sensed that Morrigan was telling the truth, her demeanour became more direct, which was refreshing in this pit of backstabbing vipers. The clues she had, and now the key, were what Krista needed. She went off to find her team.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cullen was getting increasingly uncomfortable, and agitated, being surrounded by nobles vying for his attention. Complements about his hair, eyes; whether he was married; being asked to dance, which in any other circumstance would not have been so bad. But here he felt like a prize bull on show, being paraded for the vicarious delight of these grasping and rude people. He’d lost count of the amount of times he’d been groped by both the men and woman. At first it made him nervous, but now his patience was stretching a little thin.

Leliana had seen what was happening, and had drawn him away for a talk, but as soon as she left, they were back again. Maker’s breath, if he could get through the night without punching someone, that would be an achievement. He was staring into the distance, when he heard a voice at his side. 

“Commander, do you have a moment?” It was Krista.

She drew him away from the crowd around him, onto the balcony. Cullen was grateful to get away, even if only for a few moments.

“I see you have a following, who are all these people?” she asked smirking. She’d obviously seen his irritation and discomfort.

“I don’t know, but they won’t leave me alone,” he answered, his voice terse.

Krista moved closer, “I can’t blame them, I have trouble staying away from you,” she said now smiling, and went to put her hand on his inner thigh.

He grabbed her arm in his hand and held on tight. “Don’t!” he said harshly. His annoyance was now directed at her. “And when did I become just an object of pleasure to you. You can barely get out two words to me, before you want to...” he hesitated. “You seem to forget we were friends first, and we used to talk,” he said accusingly. 

On their way here, she’d taken every chance she could to find him, and the first thing she did was seduce him. He didn’t mind that, he minded the way it was just that. 

He saw her blink, and her mouth drop open. This wasn’t how he wanted to talk about it, and let go of her arm. Oh Maker, he needed to explain better than that. “Krista I...” was all he got out.

“No, Cullen, you’re right. I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to...” she stumbled, and he could see her backing away. He knew she was going to run, but she was gone before he could stop her.

Maker’s breath, they needed to talk. Just letting it happen as he proposed wasn’t working. They had gone from one extreme to another. Neither of them were much good at this, neither of them had much experience at normal relationships, and it showed. Right then, he didn’t know what the answer was. 

As Cullen walked back into the Ballroom, he almost walked into Josephine. 

“Cullen, you must come and see this!” she said excitedly, taking his arm and walking him over to where Leliana was standing looking down onto the dance floor.

There was Krista with Grand Duchess Florianne, dancing. He could see they were talking, but it was the way Krista moved that caught his attention. She’d said she had some grace on the dance floor, well that was an understatement. 

“My agents tell me there was fighting in the servant’s quarters when the Inquisitor was there.” Leliana spoke quietly so just the three of them would hear.

“Not surprising,” Cullen answered, almost to himself. 

Josephine and Leliana looked at Cullen, and then each other.

“We must find out what is happening, the peace talks are not going well,” added Josephine. “We need to talk to the Inquisitor when they have finished.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Krista walked up the stairs from the dance floor and found Josie, Leliana and Cullen waiting for her. Josie looked happy, evidently more approval from the court. She’d heard the applause when she and Florianne had ended their dance.

“You’ll be the talk of the court for months. We should take you dancing more often” Josie breathed excitedly.

“More importantly, what happened in the servant’s quarters? We heard there was fighting,” enquired Leliana. Of course, Krista thought, Leliana’s agents were everywhere.

“I hope you have good news, it appears the peace talks are crumbling” asked Josie, expectant for information.

Krista detailed what she found, Venatori agents and a dead Council of Herald’s emissary, stabbed by Gaspard’s dagger.

“Then...the attack on the Empress will happen tonight,” said Cullen. 

He seemed in a better frame of mind than earlier. Probably because he’d switched to being the Commander now, where he had control. She’d managed to put their conversation to one side, there were too many things to do first. 

Krista listened to the three of them discussed options for what would be the best possible outcome, who would be the strongest in keeping Orlais from falling to Corypheus. She then realised what they were actually asking of her. 

“You’re asking me to decide what’s best for Orlais?” she asked incredulously. They wanted her to choose who should sit on the throne. She was to decide the fate of an empire, and potentially all of Thedas? For fucks sake...

“You must support someone, or all is lost,” insisted Leliana.

Krista thought for a moment. She needed more information first, this was too important to make a best guess on.

“I can’t decide this, not yet. I need more information. Florianne said the Gaspard’s mercenary captain is in the Royal Wing. He knows about the assassination. It could be a lead...” she began.

“Or a trap,” said Cullen, narrowing his eyes. He was more cautious than her, but it was also his job as Commander to point out potential dangers to her.

“I need to find out, whichever it is. Get me access to the Royal Wing, and Cullen, get your soldiers into position,” Krista ordered. 

“At once. Be careful, Inquisitor,” he replied. This was the Commander talking now, not Cullen. 

The three of them walked away, and Krista went off to find Cole, Bull and Dorian. There were more urgent things to do now, like stop an assassination. 

But after that she would need to take a long, hard look at what was happening between her Cullen and herself. As much as she loved him, maybe that wasn’t enough. She knew she was more messed up than she let on, and maybe he needed someone more stable. He’d had enough happen to him, without her problems adding to his.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cullen waited with Leliana and Josephine for Krista and her team to return. As time went on, he began to worry, with all the double dealing as well as enemies, this place felt more dangerous than just straightforward battle. He couldn’t wait to get away from all these people with their masks and their Game. Cullen couldn’t understand how Leliana and Josephine enjoyed it.

The he saw Krista come back into the Ballroom, and he noticed the glance she exchanged with Florianne. He shot ahead of his colleagues to catch her. She had a slight splodge of blood on her chin, but as he tried to tell her by indicating his own chin, it was obvious she didn’t understand, so he moved forward and wiped it off with his finger.

“Oh I see. Thanks” she said softly, smiling slightly.

“The Empress will make her speech soon, what should we do?” he asked. Josephine and Leliana had now caught up, joining them.

“Wait here, I’m going to have a word with the Grand Duchess,” she replied firmly. 

Josephine stepped in “What? There’s no time. The Empress will begin her speech any moment.” Her voice slightly panicking.

Cullen knew by the expression on Krista’s face, there was no talking her down. The three of them watched as Krista walked past, back down to the dance floor. By the time she’d marched across and up to Florianne, the persona of the Inquisitor was in place. The whole court was watching now, sensing something was about to happen.

“We owe the court one more show, Your Grace,” she said, with a wry smile. Everyone watched as the Inquisitor deliberately, and cunningly, revealed Florianne as the person behind the assassination plot, Florianne squirming as each accusation was presented, and finally collapsing on the floor, as even her brother turned away leaving her to her fate. Cullen heard Josephine. 

“Leliana, did you think she could...?” she asked amazed.

“I think, either we trained her better than we thought, or the Inquisitor has been holding back on us,” she said, now intrigued. He could see Leliana’s mind working now, she had always been curious about Krista’s missing years.

As soldiers took Florianne away, they heard the Inquisitor address the Empress. “Your Imperial Majesty, I think we should speak in private. Elsewhere,” and saw her disappear off with Celene, Gaspard and Briala. It was barely a few minutes before they were all back, and Celene addressed the court.

“Lord and Ladies of the Court, we are pleased to announce that an accord has been reached. Our cousin Gaspard will hold a place of honour in our cabinet.” Gasps of shock echoed around the court. 

Leliana spoke for all them when she said, “The report on this should be interesting. I don’t know what she found out, but it must have been good to get the three of them working together. Perhaps I should ask the Inquisitor to help train my agents.”

“Indeed,” replied Josephine, “I don’t imagine diplomacy was at work here.”

All Cullen could think about was that it was over now, and that she was safe. By this point she was surrounded by a press of nobles, all wanting to talk to her. Cullen could see the smile fixed on her face, and knew that all she wanted to do was to escape. He’d have to wait before they could talk. 

Eventually the pack left her. He could see her talking to Morrigan, and began to work his way over to her, but by the time he reached where she was, Morrigan was walking away and Krista was gone. Before Cullen could go after her, he was waylaid by a couple of giggling girls wanting to dance with him. They were persistent, but he finally managed to release himself from their attentions. 

He guessed she would have gone to her room and made his way there. There was no answer when he knocked, so he went in. Her uniform was lying on the bed and her window open. Wherever she’d gone, he wouldn’t find her. Even in Skyhold, she could just vanish if she didn’t want to be found, here there was no chance.

Cullen toyed with the idea of waiting for her, but thought better of it. Krista would come to him when she was ready, and evidently she wasn’t yet. He went back to his room. The people here were dreadful, but the reek of all the pungent perfumes they wore seemed to have got attached to him as well, and clung like an awful stench. He went off to have a bath to wash it away. One thing about the Orlesians, they did like their bathrooms.

Returning to his room some time later, he unlocked the door to see Krista sitting at the desk; it looked like she was writing 

“Krista?” his voice expressing surprise. How did she get in? He then saw the window open; of course, she could climb most anywhere.

“Hey,” she said calmly, still writing.

Cullen closed and locked the door.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen and Krista talk, and Krista tries to take a bath, with severe consequences

“I tried to find you earlier, but you’d disappeared when I came to look for you,” Cullen said, walking over to Krista. He could see she was wearing the light clothes she normally wore when she went climbing. They were slightly frayed. It surprised him that she’d even bought them with her. One thing about Krista, she could never be described as vain or pretentious. In fact the dress uniform was probably the smartest thing she owned.

“I needed to think, be away for a bit. When you weren’t here, I wasn’t sure where you were, so I started writing you a note,” she replied turning around. He saw the look in her eyes when she saw him, and she quickly turned back. 

“Maker, put some clothes on, Cullen, please,” her voice now unsteady. “We need to talk, and it doesn’t help with you standing there semi-naked.” 

He was only dressed in a towel, with another one slung over his shoulder. She really didn’t need any distractions right now. It had taken her long enough to get enough courage to fix in her mind what she should do. And now he was standing behind her, Sweet Maker! Krista couldn’t turn round now, she focused ahead concentrating. 

“So, what’s in this note you’re writing?” Cullen asked, now leaning over her shoulder. She could feel the drips from his wet hair hitting her neck and sliding their way down her chest. She closed her eyes, but that made it worse. The sensations became stronger, so she opened them. Right then she just wanted to run, this was messing up everything she’d decided to do, but he was blocking her in now.

Cullen could see her breathing erratic now, and to add to the look in her eyes, he knew what was happening with her. The fact she’d not moved was puzzling. She was obviously controlling herself, something she’d not been good at on their way here. His words on the balcony had likely taken hold, and now she was holding back completely. He wasn’t asking for that, just some sort of middle ground.

“I...was asking you...to come and see me, so...we could talk,” her voice now faltering, and she glanced at the window. 

Maker, she was looking to escape? Cullen saw her body tense, and shift slightly into a position ready to run, but she couldn’t unless he moved. Not this time he thought, and took hold of her arm.

“No more running, and no more hiding. This time we sit down and talk. That’s what you came to do, wasn’t it?” he asked, his voice insistent. He saw her relax, and hang her head down.

“Alright,” she said weakly.

Still holding onto her arm, he moved to allow her to get up and walked her over to the bed. Only when she was sitting did he let go. He locked the window, and sat down beside her.

Cullen took a breath. “Firstly, I need to explain properly what I meant to say back on the balcony. When you found me, I was not in the best mood. I’d already been pawed Maker know how many times, and then you arrived. Well, I shouldn’t have snapped, but it happened. What I wanted to say was that of course I do want you. But equally not to lose what we had before. You kept me going, you made me laugh, and made things bearable even when I couldn’t see a way out.” He saw her hands clasped together, he recognised it as a sign that she was nervous, worried.

“Yeah, I did understand what you were trying to say, and you were right. And I am sorry. I shouldn’t have behaved like that. Oh Maker...” Krista paused, her head not where she wanted, but knew she needed to try and get out what she’d been thinking.

“I’m a bit rubbish at all this, at trying to have a relationship that is.” Krista said, her hand now rubbing her forehead. “It’s dredging up things, things I had tried to bury. What I’m trying to say is...I don’t think I’m good for you like this. I’m way too messed up, and more scared that I have ever admitted. When we were just friends it was easier, I didn’t have to face any of this. But now...I love you and don’t know what to do with that.” She sighed deeply, and felt the familiar pricking behind the eyes. 

Cullen had to ask one thing that occurred to him when she spoke. “Are you afraid of me?” 

Krista turned around with a horrified look on her face.”Maker, no, never! I’m not afraid of you. I’m afraid of what I may do to hurt you, if I lose control. If I did anything...I couldn’t live with myself.” He saw the tears well up in her eyes, and now she looked so scared. She wiped her eyes with her arm, but now the tears were just pouring down her face.

Cullen moved over and pulled her to him. She began sobbing uncontrollably, as if she was dragging the tears from somewhere inside, some deep, dark place. It sounded barely human, more like hearing an animal howling in pain. He held her tighter, and she responded by clinging onto him. Listening to her crying, he now realised how bad it was. He’d always thought there was more than she ever let on, but this was even more than he expected. He wasn’t sure what else to do, so they both sat there for what seemed like ages, before he heard the sobbing get quieter.

Eventually she settled and pulled back slightly, Cullen looked at her. He’d seen this face before, and guessed some of the make-up was also now on his chest as well. He took the towel and wiped her face clean, and then kissed her forehead, before cleaning himself up. 

“So then, what are we going to do?” he asked, stroking her face, and saw her lean into his hand. He honestly didn’t know himself. 

“Maker, I don’t know...” her voice croaky and her throat sore now, not to mention her head was pounding. “My head isn’t clear enough right now.” She looked at Cullen, still sitting there in just his towel, his hair just hanging, all wavy, rather than swept back as it normally was. She then realised what she needed.

“I need a bath,” she said, still croaky. She could soak and try and let her mind idle, and hope it would help. Right now she worried about making the wrong decision, because she wasn’t sure what to do for the best.

Cullen’s face took on bemused look. “Not what I was expecting, I have to admit. But there’s a bathroom down the hall. Go, I’ll wait for you.” He kissed her gently on the mouth, and she smiled.

As Krista left, Cullen finally got dressed.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Krista made her way down the hall, one of the servants was approaching her, and Krista asked the way to the bathroom. The woman directed her and promised to arrange for extra hot water, if Krista could leave the door unlocked. As she left, Krista thought that was the first human she’d seen, normally they had all been elves.

She slipped into the bath once ready, and it felt so good. Now with a washcloth on her eyes, she settled to try and meditate a little to calm herself. It occurred to her it had been a while since she’d done that, for some reason she’d got out of the habit. 

The door opened, and she heard the servant she’d spoken to, telling her she bought some fresh towels. The next thing Krista knew her head was being slammed against the back of the tub. Even stunned, she sensed she was in trouble. As she saw the dagger come down, she tried to slip forward by bending her knees, so it at least missed her heart. As the knife went in, she felt it hit just under her collarbone, and the blood came, pouring red into the water. She knew she couldn’t move fast but had to try, she was a sitting duck here. The assassin would more than likely have more than one blade on them.

As she tried to get up, she slipped, and saw the second blade. But before it got to her she saw the assassin stop, and then crumble to the floor. Standing there was Cole, with his daggers dripping with the assassin’s blood. 

“She wanted to kill you,” he said his voice more emotional than normal.

“Get Cullen,” Krista ordered. She saw him disappear.

Now starting to feel faint and with the dagger still stuck in her, she knew she had to try and stem the bleeding. Krista climbed out of the tub, and managed to grab a towel, holding it against the wound as best she could. She sat down leaning against the wall.

Cole soon arrived back with Cullen, who dashed to her side.

“Cole, find Josephine and tell her we need a healer and a mage, then find Leliana and tell her what happened. Ask her to get some of our men up here now.” 

Krista saw Cole disappear again.

“How bad?” Cullen asked, his face surprisingly unemotional. 

“Not sure, don’t think it hit anything major, I tried to move out of the way best I could. Cullen, I don’t feel good,” she answered her voice faint now.

“Shock, probably. You need to lie down.” Cullen got a towel and laid it on the floor and moved her gently onto it, then lifted her feet slightly and put another towel over her. “How are you feeling now?” he asked.

“I’ve felt better,” she joked. “Next time I have a bath, you’re coming with me.” She tried to smile, but everything felt heavy.

“Next time you do, I’ll insist on it,” she heard him reply.

Then it all went dark.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Krista recovers. Cullen and Bull talk.
> 
> POV Cullen

“Cullen you can’t ask our forces to search the place, we have to allow the Empress’s men to do that. We don’t have any authority here.” Josephine was adamant. 

“I don’t trust anyone here! This place is a breeding ground for murder and intrigue. We don’t know who might have been involved in this!” Cullen was still angry.

The injury to Krista wasn’t as severe as they’d thought, but she’d gone into shock, and they were trying to stabilise her now. She’d lost some blood, but not enough to be life threatening. He now wished she’d bought Solas along, he didn’t fully trust the people looking after her, even though one of them was Celene’s own personal healer. No, Krista always went for attack first, relying on potions if they got into trouble. That would be another matter for discussion later.

“I don’t think the Empress would allow her own people to do this, Cullen. For one thing, she is too pious, and I can’t imagine she would harm the Herald of Andraste. It would look bad for her, irrespective of whatever the Inquisitor did to make them agree to work together,” Josephine’s tone more gentle now. 

Leliana stepped in before Cullen could speak. “As yet we don’t know who is behind this. I will assign agents to investigate the various assassin guilds to see if there has been a contract placed on the Inquisitor’s life. Given her position, I would think that unlikely. But we must check, just in case. If it is so, we should prepare, because they will come again.”

“Alright,” he agreed reluctantly. He realised his own feelings were clouding his judgement, and he needed to calm down. He had blamed himself, thinking he should have gone with her. She wasn’t as guarded as she should have been, because she was still upset. 

He heard Leliana “Cullen?” 

“Sorry, you were saying?” he guessed he’d missed something.

“Whoever they are, they have obviously been watching both of you, not just the Inquisitor. It is possible there may be more than one assassin here. You need to focus on your duty to her, as Commander, to keep her safe right now, whatever your personal feelings are,” she said gently. And of course, she was right.

“Trust me; her safety is uppermost in my mind.” Cullen had placed guards outside his room, where she still was, and another inside the room. Bull had insisted on seeing the body of the assassin as well, just to get a read on her, but he could see nothing pointing to a specific origin. The assassin was frustratingly anonymous.

“Speaking of which, I should get back,” he said, turning to head for the door.

“Of course, we’ll be there shortly” Josephine replied and then turned back to Leliana.

Cullen made his way back to his room, and went in to check on her progress. It looked like the mage who had been drafted in was leaving. According to Josephine, he was reputed to have a good reputation for healing magic. On seeing Cullen, he gave him a report on Krista’s condition.

“I’ve repaired the damage I could; the rest is in the hands of the healer now. Luckily, the dagger didn’t hit anything major, but the angle of entry was unfortunate. She received a fair amount of muscle damage in the area. It will take her time to regain proper use of the muscles around the area of the wound, and she will need some rehabilitation.” 

“Thank you for your aid,” said Cullen politely, with a slight nod.

The man gave a little bow and then left. Cullen knew what that meant; she wouldn’t be able to use her bow, same as after Haven. But she’d learnt to use throwing knives quite effectively, as he had found out. But the most important thing was that she survived. And how she kept surviving was remarkable. He knew that Krista didn’t believe in providence, or much in the Maker, but he did wonder how anyone could have made it through what she had, without someone watching out for her.

She was still unconscious, and had been since she passed out on the bathroom floor. They’d been keeping her sedated, while they worked on her. Probably just as well, he thought. Krista could be a difficult patient. The last thing she would want to do would be to stay in bed, or recuperate. Previously, she’d started training earlier than she should have, until he found out and put a stop to it.

Maker, they had so many good things going for them before, he hated how it all seemed to be going wrong now. Cullen was so absorbed in thought, it wasn’t until Bull called him, he realised he was there.

“Cullen?”

“Sorry, I was thinking,” Cullen replied, now looking at Bull.

“So I see. Would you have a few moments? I thought you and I might have a chat about the Boss.” Bull was smiling at him.

“Of course, here or...?” he asked.

“Elsewhere I think, let’s go to my room.” Bull answered.

Cullen followed Bull to his room, and both found places to sit, Cullen on one of the chairs, Bull on the bed. 

“So Cullen, you and the Boss...” he began.

Cullen went to speak, but Bull raised a hand to stop him. 

“Before you say anything we all know, and yes, I know the story of what happened to her before. We had a talk on the way here, and watching her earlier tonight, it seems to me things are not going well between you.” Bull paused.

Cullen sighed. “No, they are not. To be honest I don’t think either of us knows what we’re doing.” 

“Yes, I figured that that might happen when you two got together. One of you needs to take control of this thing, or it will end however much the two of you care for each other. And I can’t see her doing it, because she doesn’t understand what to do. That leaves you.” Bull paused.

“You think I’d be better at this?” Cullen asked, surprised. He wasn’t exactly knowledgeable himself.

“Yes, I do, or more specifically you could be. From what I saw of you both before, it was mostly her taking care of you. And that’s because she looks after us all of us, perhaps not quite in the same way as you. You were always special to her. She needs security, Cullen. That means understanding what makes her tick, and guiding her, until she can stand on her own feet. Imagine, well, like training a recruit, sort of. You need to talk to each other before things go too far, and that includes you telling her what you want. That way you won’t have knives flying at you because you ask the wrong question.” Bull nodded to make his point.

Cullen remembered that incident all too well and rubbed his neck. “Indeed.” 

Bull continued “You doubted her over something she would never do, and that is cheat on you. She has too much respect for you to do that. It hurt her deeply, and she reacted by trying to hurt you back. Where there are strong emotions and little knowledge on how to control them, sense doesn’t always come into it. You do know it was only a warning I hope, she wouldn’t have actually attacked you.”

“I do now, but then, I didn’t.” Cullen replied. He’d realised that his reaction had fed into her fears, but not how much it had hurt her at the time.

“She still has a lot of fear and anger inside. You need to help her get it out, and show her that she can be safe to be around. It won’t be easy, but if you can do it, I suspect you may like the woman she can be.”

Cullen thought of how upset she was back in his room. How much more was there, he wondered?

“Oh and one last thing, she really gets turned on when you dominate her a little during sex. Invest in some nice silken ties, works a treat.” Bull smiled.

Cullen was now turning a bright shade of crimson, and coughing. Maker’s breath! He went to try and speak, but all couldn’t think of anything other to say that “OK...thank you.”

“I can see that you’re embarrassed, you shouldn’t be. Sex relieves a lot of tension and can be fun if you make it. Never underestimate that.” He finished now laughing.

Cullen politely excused himself and left to go back to his room. 

When he got back, he saw the cot he’d ordered had arrived and was in the room. The healer was still there, but it looked like she was finishing up. Leliana and Josephine were there and talking with her. He went over to join them.

“...and she just needs some rest now. I’ll come back to check on her in a few hours. The sedation and pain relief should last until then.” and with a bow she left. It seemed to Cullen everyone bowed here. There was more deference than he was used to.

“The healer is pleased with how quickly she stabilised from the shock. Well, we know our Inquisitor has a strong constitution.” Josephine was smiling now.

“And she’s stubborn,” replied Cullen, and Maker they all knew she could be that.

“A trait she shares with our Commander, I think,” Leliana teased, now looking at Cullen.

“I’m not...” he went to retort and paused, watching both of them now smiling at him. “Well, maybe a little...sometimes...” Cullen gave up. He knew better than to try and take them both on, he’d learnt his lesson on that score.

“We’ll leave you now, but perhaps we could all get some sleep, and meet up after her next check by the healer. Say four hours?” requested Josephine, looking at both Cullen and Leliana. With that agreed, Cullen was left with Krista.

Cullen sat down and thought about Bull’s words. Could he do this? If so, then how? Guidance, security, Bull had said. And training? He rubbed his forehead, and started sifting through what he could recall of their interactions since their decision, trying to find something that might give him a starting point. Bull was right about how she’d taken care of him though. She deserved no less in return. 

As he thought about it, a pattern started to emerge. She would listen when he took the initiative, when he made her stop doing something, or when he explained why something upset him. Surely it wasn’t that straightforward? Sweet Maker, it was worth a try. For the first time Cullen felt some optimism about a future for them. 

He also needed some sleep. He wasn’t going to be any good looking after her if he couldn’t take care of himself. He asked the guard to wake him in three hours, and lay down on the cot. As he drifted off, his mind wandered, thinking about silken ties and Krista.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Krista is awake, and she and Cullen talk. Cole and Dorian give Krista something to think about, and Leliana reveals information about the assassin. 
> 
> Any physical effects of the Anchor on the body aren't mentioned in the game. I've made an assumption for the story that it can speed the healing process.

“Commander...Commander.” Cullen sensed someone shaking his arm. It was the guard. Cullen sat up.

“I’m here, what is it?” he asked still slightly sleepy. He rubbed across his eyes with his thumb and forefinger, trying to come to.

“Her Worship, Ser. She’s awake and asking for you.” the man answered. 

“How long have I been asleep?” he asked, now more awake.

“A couple of hours, Commander,” came the reply.

“Thank you,” he said. He got up and went over to be the bed, and there she was, sitting up. How in the Maker’s name had she got herself up? Cullen scratched his head.

“Hey you,” Krista said smiling at him. “You have bed hair.”

Cullen could see the guard smirking now, and decided to send him out of the room. He smoothed his hair before sitting down on the bed, and took her hand. “You could at least try not to embarrass me in front of my troops,” he joked, smiling.

“Pfft, as if there is anyone in Skyhold who doesn’t know now. You should realise what a hotbed of gossip it is.” She teased. “So, tell me how bad it is, and what information we have about the assassin.”

Cullen outlined her injuries, and Krista listened as he told her about the damage to her muscles, and all she could think of was, not again. She hated being stuck resting and not being able to be out in the field. It seemed there was not much information on the assassin as yet, but Leliana was investigating possibilities.

Krista looked at Cullen. “You know if Cole hadn’t been here, the outcome would have been very different. I know he makes you uncomfortable, but you should realise now why I trust him.” She saw Cullen nodding.

“You were right, he saved your life. I don’t doubt his loyalty to you. I’m still not used to him though.” he replied. 

“I know. All I ask is that you give him a chance.” Krista knew that it was the same thing she wanted to ask him for herself, but didn’t know quite how to say it. Their conversation had been interrupted, and she wasn’t sure how to pick it up again. Would he even want to keep trying with her? There were so many other things happening now, he was probably focused on them. Later, this would need to wait for later. 

“Cullen, when can we leave for Skyhold? Honestly, I’d feel better if we were back there.” Skyhold was familiar and she felt safer there. She saw Cullen frowning.

“Trust me, I’d feel better too if we could go back, but we need to ensure you are fit to travel first,” he replied. “I don’t like it here anymore than you do.” Then his face relaxed. “You know I will protect you against anything, where I can.” His voice now gentle as he stroked her face.

Krista’s heart flipped over as she saw him looking at her. “I know you will, I trust you,” she said, squeezing his hand. And then, “Cullen, I love you,” just came out without her thinking. 

Cullen smiled and kissed her. “I love you too, and yes, I’m going to take care of you,” he paused. “And you will do as you’re told,” he said firmly.

Krista laughed “You’re sure of that?” she teased.

He kissed her again, and as he pulled back a little, he spoke quietly, breathing against her lips, “I’m certain.”

He heard her breath hitch, and then she smiled. “OK then,” she replied softly, her eyes shining.

Cullen knew this was just a start, but right then, sitting with Krista, he knew he was going to give it his damndest to make this work.

“I should ask. How are you feeling?” He thought if the sedative had worn off, the pain relief may have too.

“Sore, and now you’ve reminded me, it’s begun to hurt.” She was joking, but he didn’t doubt she would be feeling the pain.

“We’ll send for the healer and mage,” he replied and sent one of the guards to fetch them, before going back to Krista. “I’ll find someone here to sit with you, while I let Josephine and Leliana know you’re awake.” 

“Ok, but I suspect Cole may be around somewhere. He doesn’t sleep you know.” Krista knew he wouldn’t be far. 

“I’ll see if I can...” was all Cullen got out, before Cole appeared.

“I’m here. I’ll keep her safe for you.” Cole said. 

Krista saw Cullen jump, and mutter “Maker’s breath,” and then he left.

She turned to Cole. “I’m sorry, I didn’t thank you for saving me before now. Thank you, Cole. Without you, I’d be...”

“Dead,” he said.

“Yes, very,” she laughed. When he wasn’t being cryptic, he was still embarrassingly blunt even though he was more human now.

“But you fear death less than the poison inside. He bleeds it for you helping it go away.” he said now looking at her.

“Cole, I wish it was that simple...” she really did, she felt better today after letting out some of pain yesterday, but she knew it wasn’t that easy.

“How do you know it isn’t?” he asked.

Krista was stumped, he had her there. She’d thought, well, assumed that...huh...

“Heart leaps, I love you. Rescue me.” Cole’s voice was now softer.

“I didn’t say...rescue me...” she stuttered. She didn’t remember saying that. 

“But he saw it.” Cole replied. 

Krista’s mouth opened; then shut again. She scratched her head, and decided to just wait. She didn’t see Cole’s slight smile when he turned away.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Cullen returned with Leliana and Josephine, they could hear raised voices coming from his room. As they walked in, he could see Krista arguing with the healer. 

“Your Worship, I must insist...” the woman seemed to be struggling to keep calm.

“I assure you, I will be fine.” Krista then spotted the three of them, but Cullen could see her specifically looking at him.

“Josephine, could you speak to the healer,” he asked. ”I’ll talk to the Inquisitor.”

“Of course,” she replied and ushered the woman gently to one side.

Cullen walked over. “Ok, tell me,” he said quietly.

Krista exhaled, and then whispered. “She wants me to stay and rest for another two days. There’s no fucking way I’m staying here in this pit of vipers for that long. I’ve got over worse than this.” She scratched her head. “I’d like to go home, when we can get everything ready. You know how quickly I can heal with the Anchor. But I don’t want to tell her that.”

Cullen knew the Anchor had the effect of speeding up the healing process. He’d seen it with the injuries she came from the field with. She still got injured the same as anyone else, but healed more quickly. Krista thought if everyone knew, it would make her seem even more other worldly, and she really didn’t want that. 

“Please Cullen, could you and Josie talk to her and see what can be done. I know she’s only protecting herself. If I went and relapsed on the way home, it wouldn’t look good for her. But we know that won’t happen.” He could see she was desperate.

“If we can settle for one day, would you agree to that?” he asked. He saw her hesitate.

“Alright, one day if we have to,” she finally replied and saw Cullen go to talk with them.

Krista watched them discussing her with the healer, and eventually he came back.

“One day, we’re here for one more day. She was reluctant to agree to that, but Josephine persuaded her,” he said. She could see he was watching for her reaction.

“Thank you,” she said softly. 

Once the healer had finished, Josie and Leliana sat with her talking, as Cullen watched. After a while, she began to get tired as the after effects of the pain relief kicked in, and she was soon asleep.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Krista woke up to see Dorian sitting in a chair, next to her bed, reading. 

“So, is their library better than mine, then?” she asked, still a little dozy and slowly pushing herself up.

He looked up and closed the book. “Not really, but it’s good to see you awake. I have to say you don’t look too bad considering.” Dorian said grinning.

“Thanks, Dorian. Always so charming,” she answered now smiling. “How long did I sleep?”

“Several hours, it’s early evening now. From what I heard, you were itching to get out earlier. I wonder if they knocked you out to keep you quiet.” She saw him reach down next to the chair and lift up a bottle. “I got this for you, perhaps you might wish to share it with someone,” he smirked. 

“Dorian, I’m supposed to be recovering. I shouldn’t be drinking,” she said in a mock shocked tone. 

Dorian laughed loudly “The day I actually see you actually behaving and doing that, I’ll stop drinking. And no, that’s not a challenge like the ones you share with our dear Commander. Besides if I know you, you’re starting to pick up already. ”

She reached out her hand for the bottle “I may be,” she grinned. “What is it?”

“Whisky, hard to find here, I can tell you. So you owe me for this. If I recall, both of you are partial to it.” He handed Krista the bottle.

“Dorian, are you suggesting the Commander and I get drunk, here, where only yesterday someone tried to kill me?” she asked incredulously.

“Darling, someone is always trying to kill you. Comes with the position. Besides, Cullen has this room wrapped up so tightly a fly couldn’t get in. Take the chance; you both need to relax before we go back. Both of you will have your noses to the grindstone soon enough when we get back. And then you will drag Bull and me with you. I fully intend to use the luxurious surroundings here before we go back.” 

Dorian leant forward. “I’m sure you can persuade him to unstiffen his spine a little.” He reached behind him. “Oh and Bull sent you these. He says Cullen will know what they are.” Krista saw him put two silk ties on the bed.

“Dorian...” she said slowly, looking at them on the bed, and then looking back at Dorian. “What has Bull said to Cullen?”

“Maybe you should ask Cullen that. I wasn’t party to that conversation. He should be back soon, I offered to mind you in his absence,” he replied.

Krista was now beginning to grasp what had happened. She was just about to speak, when Cullen arrived.

“Ah, my cue to go.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Have fun.” Krista watched Dorian leave, exchanging nods with Cullen, as he came to her.

She lifted up the silk ties. “Cullen, Bull sent these. He said you would know what they are. And this is from Dorian. A bottle of whisky for us to share,” the bottle lying on the bed next to her.

Krista saw him go crimson, and start rubbing the back of his neck “Maker’s breath!” he exclaimed.

“Something you wish to share, Cullen?” she asked innocently, now knowing full well what must have been discussed. As he stood there, she could see him desperately trying to think of what to say. Her mouth began to twitch as she tried to suppress a smile. She watched the recognition hit him, and he marched over to her, and grabbed the ties.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist, you’re so cute when you get embarrassed” she sniggered.

“Yes, well. You won’t be laughing when I get to use these on you,” he replied now smiling. 

Krista’s jaw dropped. “Did you...just offer to tie me up?”

Cullen sat next to her and whispered in her ear. “No, I didn’t offer to, I said I would. But not tonight. I want you fitter first. I may have other plans too.”

“Oh...Ok...huh...” Krista was a little stunned to say the least.

“And you’re so funny when you’re lost for words,” he joked.

Krista turned her head to face him, but before she could speak, Leliana came in. Cullen went to stand up as Leliana approached them, and addressed Krista.

“Inquisitor, I apologise for interrupting, but I think we have a clue as to the assassin’s identity.” She began. “We believe she called herself Lea Raddick. From what we’ve discovered she was having an affair with one of the gardeners here. Apparently she’d seen you as we arrived, told him she wanted to see the Herald of Andraste close up, and persuaded him to get her in. The man didn’t know what she intended to, and judging by his fear, I would tend to believe him.”

That name, she knew that name, but where from. Krista was desperately trying to remember. She could see Leliana now staring at her. It then came to her. Her past had finally come back to haunt her, or try and kill her this time.

Krista stiffened, and her face hardened. “Called is right, it’s an alias. Her real name is...was Mariana. I killed her brother, Mikhel, some years ago.” She paused. “I don’t think you need to worry about anyone else, I suspect this was payback. She obviously remembered me better than I did her...I only saw her briefly, one night in the tavern, when she came to find him. But Mikhel told me her aliases in case she needed help. She’d use them if she got into trouble. I guess when she found out about him, she knew it was me,” she said, her voice controlled. By the look on Cullen’s face, he knew what she was talking about.

“Inquisitor, I think we need to talk. I also need to know if there is anything else from your past that may affect the Inquisition. All of it.” Leliana now had that resolute look Krista knew so well, and brought one of the chairs over to sit next to her.

Her missing years, this was the story she’d always avoided telling. Cullen only knew part of it, and only because that part had poisoned her, and their relationship. He knew she’d stolen for Mikhel, but he didn’t know she then continued on her own. Cullen had sat back down, and she could see both of them now watching her, waiting.

Krista took a deep breath and began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't detailed Krista's career for this story, but more details can be found in Chapter 6 of The Memento. Her back story from before the Inquisition is taken from there.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After revealing all to Cullen and Leliana, Cullen and Krista share a drink.
> 
> Some smut.

Leliana closed the door behind her as she and Cullen left the room. They moved away from the guards, and she lowered her voice.

“I take it you didn’t know all of this. But you did know about the man?” she asked watching Cullen.

“That was all I knew, she told me after Adamant,” he replied, still absorbing what Krista had told them.

“Well, it’s not what I was thinking before. Right now, I don’t wish to press her further, she’s upset. But when we get back Skyhold, I will need more details, so I can ensure her previous life doesn’t have any further consequences.” This was not quite as bad as she thought it would be. But Leliana knew that the Inquisitor was vulnerable, and needed to be looked after until they left in the morning.

“I will speak to Josephine and inform her, she needs to know. I would suggest that you stay with her, at least until she is calmer. I could see her trying to glance at you when she was speaking to gauge what you were thinking.” Leliana put her hand on Cullen’s arm. “You both need to move forward, or this will impact on the Inquisition. I say that with the best intentions. Both of you are good at what you do, and will need to be ready for what we have to face.” 

“I know. I’ll go and sit with her,” Cullen replied and went back into his room. 

Leliana watched him go then went to find Josie. The Inquisitor must have been a very good thief to carry out those high profile jobs, and not get caught. When she was settled, Leliana would ask her to give tips to some of her agents.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Krista was in the middle of swigging from the bottle Dorian had given her, when Cullen came back in. He raised his eyebrows.

“Please don’t look at me like that,” she said wearily.”You try dredging up one of the worst times in your life, again, and tell me you wouldn’t need a drink.”

As he came over, he took the bottle out of her hands, and proceeded to drink out of it. He then handed it back to her.

“Don’t you think watching you hurting might upset me?” he asked now sitting down next to her. “I’m surprised about the rest, don’t get me wrong, but it was painful to see you relieve what happened.”

“I nearly didn’t get that chance, remember. I’m not sure I can ever look at a bathtub in the same way again.” Krista took another swig, and passed the bottle to Cullen. He took another drink.

“How are you feeling now?” he asked, watching her. She looked tired, but calmer than when she was recounting the story to Leliana.

“Drained, and wanting to get pissed.” She paused. “Cole was right though. You do bleed the poison. He said I should let you.” Every time some was released, she did feel better for it.

“He’s right you know,” he said, passing the bottle back.

Krista turned. “Maker, that’s something I didn’t think I’d hear. Are you feeling well?” she replied looking surprised.

“Very funny. But I can see now, you open up that bit more each time. It’s nice to see that.” Cullen smiled at her, and saw her smile back, then take another drink. ”Are you really planning to get drunk?”

“Totally. In fact I’m feeling a little light headed already. Guess because I haven’t eaten much. Normally takes a lot more than this,” she joked. There was definitely a band of heat worming its way into her head.

“You don’t think it’ll make it worse?” Cullen asked, his hand outstretched.

“Nope, because you’re here.” she replied, handing back the bottle.

“Do I make a difference then?” he asked, sliding closer.

“Cullen, you make all the difference,” she kissed him on the cheek. “Now, if you’re not planning to join me, pass back the bottle please.” Krista watched as he took another swig and gave her the bottle.

“I think I may join you, most of the preparations are done for our trip back. Maybe I should let go a bit too.” he grinned. He started get a warm feeling inside now.

“Good, let’s get pissed. And then we can add one more thing to the list of what we’ve done together.” Krista raised the bottle, drank and returned it Cullen. “I’ve always been curious what you’d be like drunk.”

“Why? I’m not much different. Plus I don’t often get drunk, there’s usually too much do,” he asked, handing the bottle to Krista after another drink.

“There’s always a part of them that people keep hidden, it tends to come out then. And I suspect there’s a bit of a beast somewhere inside you,” she giggled, poking his armour with her finger. Krista was feeling heady now, as she took another gulp.

“A beast you say... what sort?” Cullen asked, smiling, and took the bottle back. 

“Well, I won’t know until I see it...” Krista watched as he drank. She could see his face slightly red from the whisky. Hers probably was too. 

“You do know there is one thing you promised me, and we can add that to the list. If you are able to, that is.” Cullen put the bottle down and stood up. “We haven’t had that dance yet...can you manage it?”

Krista laughed “I think so, you may need to hold me steady though, and not tread on my toes.” 

Cullen rolled his eyes. He put out his hand and asked “May I have this dance, Inquisitor?”

Krista got up, a little unsteady, but then balanced. “It would be my pleasure, Commander,” she said taking his hand. As Cullen drew her into his arms, and she put her right hand around his waist, they started dancing, Krista looked up at him and smiled.

“You’re not bad actually, all those lessons paid off,” she joked.

“You should be thankful they did, you’re less graceful than when you’re sober,” he teased. “I think your co-ordination is a little impaired.”

“Commander, I think you may be right. Shall we continue this when we’re both a little more sober?” She did feel a little dizzy after the couple of turns he put her through.

“Of course, I wouldn’t want to show you up.” He was laughing now.

Krista shook her head, and sat back on the bed. Cullen came and sat beside her. He saw her lift up the bandage and try to peer beneath it, looking at the wound left from the dagger.

“Have you been doing that today, looking at it?” he asked, concerned.

“Just a little. It’s ironic don’t you think? He marks one side, and she marks the other.” He heard her voice waver.

Cullen put his arm around her. “You’re not marked, don’t think like that. It’s just battle scars, to remind you that you survived. That’s what you do, Krista, that’s what you’ve always done. And now I’m here to help you should you stumble, and I always will be. I promise,” he said softly and kissed her head.

“I’m glad you are. Who else would put up with me?” she replied half joking.

“Now you mention it...” he replied teasing, but hugging her as he said it.

“Arse,” she answered. He could hear her voice lighter now, as she turned and smiled at him.

Krista kissed him, but as she pulled away, they both looked at each other, breath caught. He took her face in his hand and drew her back. This kiss became something hungrier, as both of them were now a little drunk, and both of them wanting, needing more. 

Cullen lay her shoulders down, slowly sliding her onto the bed, her nightdress bunching up to reveal her legs, hearing her moaning as his tongue played in her mouth, her hand catching his erection, making him want to take hold of it and push it inside his pants.

Krista wanted him to never stop kissing her, wanted him to slide his hand up her thigh, she wanted to feel his fingers inside her, she wanted him relieve the ache now building up.

There was a knock at the door, a brief wait, and the door knob began to turn.

Cullen had pulled away, and Krista was trying to push down her nightdress one handed, without success. He saw and managed to tug it down before the door opened. They were both smiling by the time the healer came in.

As the healer checked the wound and applied ointments, Krista didn’t dare look at Cullen, she’d seen his shoulders twitching slightly as he faced away. She knew he was trying not to laugh, and that almost made her lose it.

After the woman had left, both of them burst out laughing.

“A few minutes more, and I think she’d have seen more of the Inquisitor and the Commander than she imagined she would,” said Krista, wiping her eyes, now watering from the laughter.

“Indeed, I don’t think we’re going to get much privacy here. Maybe we should wait until we get back to Skyhold,” Cullen suggested. “Not that I won’t stop thinking about what we will do.”

“You have a plan then?” Krista asked knowingly.

“Who said it was just the one?” he teased. 

Krista hummed approvingly.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, they were all ready and after the official farewells, they set off back to Skyhold. Krista was more than happy if she never saw the Winter Palace again.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just over a week after her injury, Krista and Cullen have a plan for that evening.
> 
> Lots of NSFW
> 
> And I make no apology for the joke at the end. :)
> 
> *

It was just over a week since her injury. It had been a mixed week, with more tears, but she and Cullen had talked more about each other, and what they both wanted. She was happy to have her friend back, along with the other things they had now.

Solas had just given her the all clear to resume light training. He’d been pleased with her progress, and surprised that she’d actually done her exercises and not tried to resume training. The muscles around the wound were still a little tight and she didn’t quite have full use, but it’d be enough.

Krista had good reason to ‘behave’ as Dorian called it. There was a plan if she did, a plan she was looking forward to. That would be tonight, and she set about making arrangements.

Afterwards, she started the report on Halamshiral, and actually managed to finish it. She’d agreed with Leliana that some elements didn’t need inclusion, they would be dealt with separately. As she took it to Josie, she saw her jaw drop. Normally if Josie got her report within three weeks she was lucky. Just over a week was a miracle.

Before she went off to train, she sent Cullen a note.

Cullen was gathering information from his agents, those sent to track down Samson’s hideout. It looked like they might have established a location. Once Krista was able, they would go and track it down. The information about Samson’s armour concerned him, they needed to find a way to break or disable it. He looked up as a messenger arrived.

“Message from the Inquisitor, Ser.” He handed Cullen a sealed note. 

“Thank you,” Cullen opened it and smiled. Two words ‘Rescue me’. He knew what that meant. She had the all clear, and they were on for tonight. He scribbled a reply, sealed it and handed it to the messenger. 

“Take this reply to the Inquisitor,” he ordered, still smiling.

Krista got Cullen’s reply as she was practising with her throwing knives. 

“The Commander’s reply, Inquisitor. Will you want to send a response?” He asked. Krista opened the note and smiled. One word ‘Always’. 

“No, it’s fine. Thank you,” she replied still smiling. “Oh, by the way” she called the messenger back. “Was he polite?”

“Yes, Your Wo...sorry Inquisitor,” he replied. She hated being called Your Worship, so made sure they just used her title. 

“But to be honest, we didn’t mind when he wasn’t. We got more items in apology that way,” he added smiling, and then left. Krista laughed, she couldn’t tell Cullen to start being rude again. She’d never hear the end of it.

Krista went back to her training.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Krista was just debating whether to try handstands when Cullen arrived. He was never late, a military thing she figured. But the man standing in front of her now was definitely civilian tonight, with his shirt, pants and boots and no armour. And he was gorgeous, but he was always gorgeous.

“Hey you,” she greeted him smiling, skating her eyes up and down him.

“Hello”, he replied with that little smile. Damn, it always made her go weak and he knew it. His eyes were now on her, as he walked up and slid his hands onto her hips. “Tell me there’s nothing under that dress,” he said breathing onto her neck now. 

“Just me,” she replied now slightly heady, and her legs getting unsteady as he pulled her against him. “And it’s actually sort of an undergarment, and borrowed. And you’re making me feel like I’m about to start swaying.” 

“Am I?” he asked, “Do you know what you’re doing to me right now? I’ve not even kissed you, and you just stand there with your eyes half closed, your breasts pushing into me, and looking full of desire. Maker, but you’re beautiful.” 

His voice seemed to resonate right through her, and she let out a whine. She heard Cullen laugh.

“What was that?” he said.

“Your voice...it does stuff...to me...” was all she got out. Her brain was not functioning well, and they hadn’t even started. Then he kissed her. His tongue was running across her lips, and she opened her mouth, pushing her tongue forward, circling his. He moaned and it ran through her mouth. Maker, she had to stop, she was losing control. She drew back, her breath heavy now.

“Cullen...” she began.

“I know...” he replied. “I didn’t think it would...”

“Me neither...” she answered.

“I want to fuck you...” he demanded.

“Fuck me...now...please...” she begged.

He lifted her up and hoisted her onto the bed, both of them scrabbling to undo his pants. She was pulling out his cock as he was pushing up her dress. Neither of them anything more than a mess of lust and need, as he drove deep into her, forcing out a loud yelp. He couldn’t stop and she couldn’t wait, as he thrust into her and she rutted back onto him.

“All day...I’ve been...”she began.

“Thinking of this...” he finished.

All he wanted was to be inside her, and all she wanted was to feel him here, neither stopping, just fucking. The ache and tension building, heads pounding, nerves firing, until finally she arched up off the bed, bringing him up with her, tightening her muscles around him hard, forcing him to come inside her. She screamed and he groaned, and they settled back onto the bed, breathing raggedly. 

Krista looked at Cullen, still on top of her, holding himself up, “Commander, I don’t recall this being the plan,” she laughed. She could barely move, let alone stand up, her limbs useless and heavy right now.

“Inquisitor, it’s called responding to circumstances I believe,” he said smiling and withdrew, rolling off and laying down. 

Both them lay there recovering for a few minutes.

Cullen felt Krista move and lay her chin on his chest, looking up at him. “I hope you still plan to use the plan though.” she said stroking his chest, through his shirt, with her finger.

“Of course.” he replied, smiling. He rolled a strand of her hair around his finger. She never wore it down normally, because it misbehaved she’d said. He could see the waves and curls all at odd angles. It almost summed her up, a mishmash of different things in one package. And he loved them all.

“Well, we should crack on soon-ish, or the water will get cold,” she snickered. “I hope your stamina is up to it.”

“I’m not the one who hasn’t been training, remember. Let’s see how you hold out,” he teased, watching her mouth open in surprise. He couldn’t help laughing, as he took off his boots. He could see her watching him.

As he sat back up, Krista moved, pushing him back down, and slinging herself across his thighs, kneeling over his groin. She put her arms either side of his face, and kissed him hard. “Trust me,” she said, breaking away. “I can more than keep up.”

His hands slid up the backs of her legs, and grasped her bottom, and as he sat up, she wrapped her arms around his neck. He lifted them both up, her legs now clasped around him, and he walked them both over to the bathtub. As she let go, and he started to put her down, he took hold of her dress, pulling it over her head. Her fingers bunched into his shirt, dragging it up and over his head, as he took off his belt. He undid the buttons and took off his pants and smalls. They were both naked now, and he drew her to him, kissing her gently. 

“Ready?” he asked, and watched her nod in reply.

Cullen stepped into the tub, sat down and adjusted his position to allow her room. He saw Krista briefly hesitate, as he stretched out his hand to her. He gave her a little smile, and watched as she took his hand and stepped in to join him. After some fidgeting to get comfortable, she leant against him at an angle, her head arched slightly back against his shoulder.

“This is a tighter squeeze than I thought it would be,” she said, now smiling.

“Is that a problem?” he asked, now draping one hand over her breast, and fondling it.

“No, not if you keep distracting me like that,” she answered, her voice quivering a little.

“I’m sure I can distract you some more,” he teased, moving his other hand down between her open legs, and slowly sliding two fingers into her. Her mouth half opened, exhaling a soft moan. As he added another finger, he felt her judder against him. Maker, he could never get over how aroused she got when he touched her. He could feel himself start to get hard again just watching her.

As he moved his fingers in and out of her, sometimes pressing, her moans just flowed. He wanted to make her come, but that wasn’t the idea right now. She needed to focus on being safe with him here, in the tub. He promised back in Halamshiral he would be with her next time. As much as she didn’t need him to protect her out in the field, he knew she needed him to give her security here. And right now, he was glad they’d already fucked, because otherwise he would have lost control.

Krista sensed Cullen withdrawing his fingers, and gave a moan of disappointment, even knowing what was to happen next. She loved his rough fingers inside her just mov...

“Argh,” she screamed as the water poured over her head, and she heard Cullen laughing loudly now. “You...shit!” she exclaimed.

“But you love me...” he began, just as she splashed water back at him. She watched as he spat some out, and shook his head.

“You were saying?” she teased, watching his hair now hanging down from the wet. She loved it loose, and took every opportunity to try and disassemble the work he put into it to keep it under control. He tried to push it back, but it only half stayed. She sniggered.

“I think we may be done here,” he said now smiling. “Unless, you want to continue this water fight?”

“I’m good, and thank you,” she replied, stroking her finger across his chest. As she adjusted her position to get up, he put his hand on her hips to help her, and then offered his hand so she could steady herself as she got out. When he got up, she could see the erection she felt in the bath and almost faltered. Maker, she just couldn’t get enough of him. Every time he touched her, she wanted more. And right now, she was still burning inside.

Once they’d dried off some, he walked her over to the bed.

She looked at the silk ties handing over the headboard, and felt a tingle run down her spine, and smack into the tension now coiling below. She swallowed. The anticipation, the thought of what would happen now, was kicking in. She closed her eyes and sighed, then felt Cullen’s hand on her shoulder.

“I think you have to be on the bed for us do this,” he joked, making her laugh.

“I do love you,” she said gently, putting her hand on his.

“I love you too,” he replied kissing her neck. “Now get on the bed,” he ordered firmly.

Another tingle smacked into her as he said that. She lay on the bed, watching him knotting the ties around her wrists and to the bed, but giving her enough movement of her arms. She confessed that no-one had ever gone down on her before, and he promised to remedy that. 

She saw him take position between her legs, and laid her head back onto the pillow. She wanted to feel every moment of this. His tongue was now teasing its way slowly up her thigh, stopping only plant a kiss now and then. Her heart was beating faster, the pulse echoing in her neck. As he reached the top, she could feel his breath on her, and he teased her open. She gasped, as his tongue took one long flick over her clitoris, before he started circling it gently. 

Maker, she’d never felt anything like this. The heat from his fingers before was already bubbling inside, and this made her burn hotter. She wanted to say something, but all that came out was “Cullen...I...oh...uh.” His thumb rubbed her thigh in that same circular motion that he’d used on her hand. The motion of his tongue had now shifted and he rasped it up and down in longer, faster strokes and her back arched up in response, almost knocking him back.

He pushed her back down, now holding her on the bed with his other hand, and continued. A hard tingle settled into the base of her spine, winding up tighter and tighter, adding to the ache and heat in her getting stronger now. She was climbing higher and higher, and then reaching that precipice, relief as she fell down the other side, crashing over into orgasm. She thought she’d screamed his name when she came, but wasn’t sure of anything at that point. Before the spasms even finished, he’d lifted her up and was inside her.

Watching her unravel, as he worked on her with his tongue, made him so painfully hard that he couldn’t stop himself when she came, screaming his name. He moved and pushed into her. 

She moved her legs around him and brought them back settling them onto his shoulders. It was then he released how agile and fit she was. She was only resting them gently against him, using her stomach muscles to hold them in place. He was grateful to get the extra purchase, as she was almost dripping now as he just glided in and out of her. His hands were on the headboard, holding himself steady as he was thrusting into her. The heat inside her urging him on, his own head pounding as the blood rushed to it. And the noises from both of them, barely human now, just intelligible and incoherent grunts, groans and moans. 

He felt her hips forcing down on him and she came, gripping him fiercely, screaming loudly. He knew couldn’t hold on. As he forced himself harder into her, she screamed again. The release was immediate and he gave out a long load groan. Beads of sweat rolled down his face as he panted hard now. He had to lie down before he keeled over.

“I have...to...lie down,” he gasped and she lifted her hips and legs higher, forcing him out. He flopped back onto the bed.

“Maker, how...do you...do that?” he panted. 

“Years of practice and training...but right now it’s a bit of a struggle,” she replied lowering her legs, her breath still ragged. “I need to rest.”

“You’re not the only one,” he replied, with a laugh.

“When my shoulder is better, you can tie both hands together. That way I can get myself free,” she said, looking at her hands still tied either side of her. “You can barely move, and I’m stuck here until you can.”

“You can do that?” he asked incredulously.

Krista raised her head and smiled. “That, and more,” she said winking. 

Cullen shook his head. “How?” 

“I joined up with a travelling show at one point, did them some favours in return for some lessons,” she grinned cheekily. 

She watched as Cullen managed to raise himself up, then crawled across her, and began releasing her wrists. As he was leaning above she couldn’t resist swiping his nipple with her tongue. He flinched slightly, and looked at her with a smirk.

“Later, I need to rest for a bit,” he said, now untying her other hand.

“And you were the one taunting me about stamina?” she teased, now laughing.

“Maker’s breath, woman!” he exclaimed. “What will it take to satisfy you?”

“A hug,” she replied.

“That...I can do,” and settled down next to, taking her into his arms. He stroked her arm and she laid her hand across his chest, tracing a scar, both of them quiet for a few moments.

“Krista, we have some dealings in Ferelden. I was hoping you could come with me, if you have some time,” he enquired.

“What sort of dealings?” she asked now curious.

“I’d rather explain there,” he answered.

“Ok...” she paused and then replied, “Cullen, I would always love to come with you,” she said laughing.

Cullen groaned, but then smiled “I’ll make the arrangements,” he said.

And then it hit Krista. She raised herself up, scanning his hair, his face and his eyes. Yep, that was it.

“What are you doing?” he asked, watching her now.

“I know what the bit of a beast is now. You’re a lion. You’re my lion, my lion of Ferelden” she snickered.

“Maker’s breath!” Cullen rolled his eyes, now laughing. “Tell me why I put up with you.”

“Because I make you laugh,” she replied and kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for bearing with this story. I know it was a little unconventional in places, but hope it was at least enjoyable. 
> 
> Would love to have thoughts/comments on how you feel it worked out.


End file.
